Archive for the ‘Little People (Midgets, Dwarfs)’ Category

I Won the Tri­fec­ta

Short man: So, my ther­a­pist told me to take off my clothes and look in­to the mir­ror.
Tall woman: Why?
Short man: To con­front my in­ner midget.
Tall woman: Your in­ner what?
Short man: Midget.
Tall woman: Don’t you think that’s po­ten­tial­ly of­fen­sive to midgets?
Short man: Why? Some peo­ple are para­noid, some are neu­rot­ic, some are short.

–Tea Lounge, 7th Ave & 10th St, Park Slope

Lit­tle People–Big Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Greasy guy on cell: Yeah, there was this whole big to-do. They had all these lit­tle midgets run­ning around–it was a whole Willy Won­ka thing go­ing on.

–42nd & Park Ave

Over­heard by: Aren’t They Called Lit­tle Peo­ple?

Midget on mo­bile: Man, you don’t know how tough it is, these lit­tle women are tough, they know what they want… Yeah, yeah… The are like tigers, they’ll eat you up!

–Grand Cen­tral Sta­tion

Over­heard by: JT

Fly­er guy: Com­e­dy show, folks–we got midgets!

–Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Becca­Go

Guy: High-five if you like midgets and drugs!

–42nd & 7th

Over­heard by: Shan­non

Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, we’re gonna do it big for my birth­day. No I’m think­ing more like midget strippers…eh, I haven’t de­cid­ed what I want it to be. (pause) Oh yeah, sor­ry, not “it,” “him” or “her.” No, I think dwarfs have mag­i­cal pow­ers, that’s the deal. Not racist, dwarfist maybe.

–Chi­na­town Bus

Over­heard by: Evan

Drunk guy with group of friends: I’m sor­ry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall.

–41st & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: Glad I’m not short

He Could Al­so Bite Your Knee-caps Off, So Be Care­ful

Dwarf with walk­ing dis­abil­i­ty: Could you go up­stairs and get me a glass of wa­ter?
Man: Wa­ter? To drink?
Dwarf: Yeah, to drink. What do you think I’m gonna do with it, wash my hair?
Near­by woman: You could swim in it, I guess.

–Abing­ton The­atre Lob­by

Over­heard by: Chris