Archive for the ‘Magic’ Category

Clap If You Be­lieve in Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

NYU guy: I’m like a cen­taur, if ya know what I mean.

–Uni­ver­si­ty & 4th St

Over­heard by: sarah

Fe­male hip­ster to friends: Well, vam­pires are the new zom­bies!

–147th & Con­vent

Thug­gish straight guy to an­oth­er: Oh, I’d much rather be a fag­got than a de­mon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Over­heard by: Christo­pher Schulz

In­ter­view­er, try­ing to con­vince in­ter­vie­wee: There’s not much of a fu­ture in be­ing an elf.

–Ma­cy’s

Ital­ian woman, star­ing at guy wear­ing Ghost­busters t‑shirt: You don­ta li­ka da ghosts?

–Meat­pack­ing Dis­trict

Over­heard by: Look­ing for my pro­ton pack

The Mag­ic of Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Singing bag la­dy: My moth­er is a bitch! She’s a voodoo bitch. She’s a fuck­ing whore. I hope that bitch gets cancer…the worst kind of can­cer. She pre­vents me from get­ting a job with her voodoo.

–Bowl­ing Green sta­tion

Over­heard by: K2 Com­bo

Guy: That’s the last time I date a girl with a cape.

–Bryant Park sta­tion

Girl:…I don’t know why she hates me. She put a curse on me! But my mom took me to her heal­er and now I’m okay. I don’t re­al­ly re­mem­ber much, though.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Emi­ly Y.

Wednes­day Om-Lin­ers

Earth chick on cell: I had med­i­ta­tion and yo­ga class to­day. So, if you’re com­ing over tonight we have to have spir­i­tu­al sex.

–Barnes & No­ble

Guy on cell: You’re nev­er go­ing to be­lieve this, but I need to tell you any­ways. I just did some witch­craft.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Smok­ing Stu­dent

Yo­ga teacher: Not be­ing able to do some­thing can teach you a lot about your­self. Like how you’re a fuck­ing los­er.

–Mid­town

Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pook­ie out be­cause he’s a Pisces and I’m a Vir­go, and that way our per­son­al­i­ties will match.

–C Train

Over­heard by: evan

White dude to an­oth­er: I’d like to see what his chi looks like.

–Chi­na­town

Over­heard by: Aileen

Co­in­ci­den­tal­ly, “It’s Mag­ic, Bitch!” Is Sea World’s Slo­gan.

Young guy: You know, I think I’ve ac­tu­al­ly eat­en gator at Gator­land.
Young chick, look­ing ex­as­per­at­ed: Why would they sell al­li­ga­tor to eat in Gator­land? That’s like sell­ing dol­phin sand­wich­es at the aquar­i­um!
Young guy: You’re right! I bet­ter tell Shamu to watch out and go some­where else be­cause all I need is mir­a­cle whip and white bread, and voilá… It’s mag­ic, bitch!

–8th St & Uni­ver­si­ty Place

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers and the Ut­ter­ly Un­sat­is­fy­ing Con­clu­sion

Guy, in chi­nese: Do you think I’m Har­ry Pot­ter?

–Vivi Bub­ble Tea Bar

Girl on cell out­side art bar: And I was like “Dum­b­le­dore, try some jeans.”

–8th Ave & Ho­r­a­tio St

Over­heard by: Jean Ann

Cute girl grad­u­at­ing to friend: I hate gowns… How does Har­ry Pot­ter stand it?

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty Busi­ness School Grad­u­a­tion

Over­heard by: Jen

Guy, af­ter watch­ing new Har­ry Pot­ter movie: Man… that’s it? That was a lap dance!

–42nd Street Movie The­ater

Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I’d kid­nap and fuck Har­ry Pot­ter for an eight ball of coke. (to on­look­er) Why aren’t you at work?

–Brook­lyn The­ater

Over­heard by: Jesse­Jack (I’ve got a Job)