Archive for the ‘Malls’ Category

Wednes­day One-Mi­nors

Two-year-old, point­ing to Citibank: That’s my bank!

–7th Ave & Pres­i­dent St, Park Slope

Over­heard by: But who’s your in­sur­ance car­ri­er?

Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I’m go­ing home! (slams cell shut and be­gins strut­ting across park­ing lot)

–Park­ing Lot, Stat­en Is­land Mall

Over­heard by: WTF????

Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to sev­en-year-old girl: Stop touch­ing my ass. Whore!

–Park, As­to­ria

Lit­tle girl to group of lit­tle girls: Raise your hand if you’re al­ler­gic to peni­cillin!

–R Train

Over­heard by: cole

Lit­tle girl to friends, point­ing at plat­form: That’s where ho­bos live!

–4 Train

Over­heard by: Je­sus Jon

Three-year-old boy, eat­ing ham­burg­er: Cock cock cock cock!

–Madi­son Square Park

Over­heard by: Alex­is from Texas

Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssome­one’s gonna take me! Some­one’s take me!

–Stop & Shop, Kings­bridge, Bronx

Over­heard by: Kriszti­na

Spo­ken Like Some­one Who’s Nev­er Shopped at H&M

Teen girl: She said mon­ey don’t grow on trees but yeah it do. Mon­ey made of pa­per, pa­per made from trees.
20-some­thing-guy: Ac­tu­al­ly, US cur­ren­cy is print­ed on cot­ton.
Teen boy: Cot­ton?
20-some­thing-guy: Yeah, they use den­im, like jeans.
Teen girl: My jeans don’t be rip­pin like mon­ey, they us­ing some low grade shit.

–Stat­en Is­land Mall Bus Stop

Over­heard by: ryn

Rinse, Re­peat

Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the butt? You let him sodom­ize you?
Teen girl #2: It was­n’t bad. I could­n’t shit for a few days, though. So I took some lax­a­tives, then I shit my­self in the mall yes­ter­day.

–Lib­er­ty Is­land

Over­heard by: bin­ja

Our First Qua­si-Celebri­ty Sub­mis­sion

A woman wear­ing a Mick Jag­ger shirt is ap­proached by a mod­el, who tells her: I like your shirt.

Then the mod­el calls her son (about four) over and says: Look at her shirt. That’s his dad, you know.

[Turns out that she was­n’t jok­ing; the mod­el’s name is Lu­ciana Morad.]

–Time Warn­er Cen­ter Mall