Archive for the ‘Malls’ Category

Wednesday One-Minors

Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank!

–7th Ave & President St, Park Slope

Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier?

Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot)

–Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall

Overheard by: WTF????

Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore!

–Park, Astoria

Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin!

–R Train

Overheard by: cole

Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock!

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Alexis from Texas

Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me!

–Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx

Overheard by: Krisztina

Spoken Like Someone Who’s Never Shopped at H&M

Teen girl: She said money don’t grow on trees but yeah it do. Money made of paper, paper made from trees.
20-something-guy: Actually, US currency is printed on cotton.
Teen boy: Cotton?
20-something-guy: Yeah, they use denim, like jeans.
Teen girl: My jeans don’t be rippin like money, they using some low grade shit.

–Staten Island Mall Bus Stop

Overheard by: ryn

Rinse, Repeat

Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the butt? You let him sodomize you?
Teen girl #2: It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t shit for a few days, though. So I took some laxatives, then I shit myself in the mall yesterday.

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: binja

Our First Quasi-Celebrity Submission

A woman wearing a Mick Jagger shirt is approached by a model, who tells her: I like your shirt.

Then the model calls her son (about four) over and says: Look at her shirt. That’s his dad, you know.

[Turns out that she wasn’t joking; the model’s name is Luciana Morad.]

–Time Warner Center Mall