Archive for the ‘Manhattan’ Category

She’s a Vegan — Pass the Cheesecake

Girl #1: So I was thinking about milk the other day. Milk comes from cows. And what do cows eat?
Girl #2: Other cows?
Girl #1: No, dumbass! They eat grass! So it stands to reason, when you drink milk, you’re actually drinking liquified grass.
Girl #2: Ugh, gross! I’m so not drinking milk anymore.
Girl #1: Totally, that’s why I drink soy.

–Veniero’s, 11th St & 1st Ave

He’s Just Not That Into You

Drunk girl: How much is a Miller Light tall boy?
Beer vendor: $3.
Drunk girl: How about $2.50?
Beer vendor: $3.
Drunk girl: How about $2.75 and my phone number?

Drunk girl gives beer vendor cell phone number.

Beer vendor: $3.

–Penn Station, LIRR

Overheard by: LC
Headline by: Anna-Liza

Runners-Up:
· “Your Jedi Mind Tricks Don’t Work While Drunk” – Anna Nio
· “‘Mommy, How Did You and Daddy Meet?'” – Becca
· “But in Syosset, I’m Beautiful” – Anastasia Beaverhausen

Honorable Mentions:
· “Losing Her Dignity for a Miller Light: Priceless” – mellamaphone
· “Ah, the Reflexive Property of Beer” – Mikey G
· “In his Defense, He Advertises ‘Cold and Frosty'” – Mike T
· “Yeah, I Tried that Line with the Laundry Machine Yesterday” – jumanji
· “C’mon! My Number Really Is 867-5309.” – will manning

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

And She Shows Up for It

Girl #1: Where was Liz last night?
Girl #2: Oh, you didn’t hear?
Girl #1: Hear what?
Girl #2: She went to her boyfriend’s grandmother’s 82nd birthday!
Girl #1: Oh, that’s sweet. Why are you so upset by that?
Girl #2: Her boyfriend’s grandmother died four years ago! Apparently the family has been celebrating it every year! They have a cake with candles and everything.

–16th & 7th

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