Man: I am D‑R-U-N‑C.
Woman: What? Are you spelling something? What does that spell?
–Trailer Park Lounge, West 23rd Street
Overheard by: Rachel Rappaport
Archive for the ‘Men’ Category
The Problem with Facebook, in a Nutshell.
Teen girl: Yeah, I’ll talk to you on Facebook.
Man in truck, overhearing: I have Facebook too! Add me!
–Lower East Side
From the Ray Cutting-Room Floor
Aggressive salesman: You need sunglass!
Man: No, I don’t think so.
Aggressive salesman: You need sunglass!
Man: I’m blind! I do not need…
Aggressive salesman: You need sunglass! Everybody need sunglass.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: j
Think Of It As Getting Paid to Watch Bad TV
[Man enters train.]Man: Damn! I have jury duty today…
Random girl: Dude, that sucks. I’m sorry. But hey, it could be worse.
Man: Yeah, it could be worse, I could be on trial.
–R Train
Shanks for Sharing
Store guy: You want a baloney sandwich or something?
Dude: Nah. The only time I eat baloney is when I’m in the joint.
–Bodega, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Andy K.
Yeah But She Can Only Give You an I or a Y
Employee #1: Hey, look at this picture.
Employee #2: Yeah, she never would have made cheerleader if she had two legs.
Headline by: azione
Runners-Up:
· “Amputation is the New Anorexia” — Amanda
· “And they want to take away affirmative action?” — Holly G
· “But I’d Still TOTALLY Bang Her” — Jason
· “But her talent is obvious…” — fuel
· “Come on, Eileen” — Parker
· “Four legs good, two legs bad!” — Zomzom
· “From the McCartney — Mills Divorce Files” — Gimpy La Rue
· “How to lose those extra pounds to make the squad: amputation” — Sean McGurr
· “Kids will do anything to make the team” — Spin
· “Or a head.” — Jeremiah Lewis
· “Playing the amputee card” — Mandaliet
· “She’d still be a virgin now too” — Sarah
· “Title IX didn’t say they had to actually do the routines.” — CityGirl
· “Tryouts were tough for the Special Olympics cheer squad.” — John
· “We call her Tripod Betty” — Wendy
· “When Affirmative action goes too far” — Marv in DC
Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait
Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back.
–Hudson River Park
Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I’m afraid of the power of my own vagina.
–1 Train
Overheard by: westchester girl
Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom’s vagina.
–New York Harbor
Overheard by: Barry P.
Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina?
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Highstein
Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Poogins
Very large black man: My penis’ jus’ as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear)
–A Train
All This Meth Plays Havoc on the Fingernails
Man in chair, reaching out to accept money: Okay, man…
Other man, handing him money: Damn, man! (looks at his hands) You need a pedicure! Remind me to hook you up!
–The Rides, Coney Island
Overheard by: cracking up
But All I Said Was, I Hate The Hills!
Yelling wife: You made a promise. You’re my husband.
Husband: Can we do this later?
Yelling wife: No, I made the worst mistake of my life marrying you. Take your ring… go.
–F Train
And You Thought Don Rickles Was Dead
Man on cell: What do we got?
Hobo: Get broke and die, that’s what we got!
A minute later.
Woman passerby: Who?
Hobo: My dick, that’s who!
–Jane & 8th
Overheard by: yassira
