Archive for the ‘Menstruation’ Category

The Multicultural Odd Couple Is a Lot Edgier Than the Original

White teen, grabbing heavy-looking computer monitor from black teen: Fuck, just give it to me, you whiner. You’re going to drop it and we’ll be screwed, you fucking baby.
Black teen: Bitch, chill, what has been with you lately? Lately you’ve been acting like you got your white boy period.
White teen: Really. Really. Look at me, look at what I’m carrying. Don’t fucking talk to me right now.
Black teen: Definitely, white boy period.

–6th Ave & W 12th St

Wombsday One-Liners

Woman holding large ice cream, to man: You don’t know what it’s like to menstruate! You have no idea!

–Lafeyette & Astor Pl

Overheard by: I have some idea

Newspaper guy: It’s just like when I was selling tampons to Alicia Silverstone. I was like, ‘Is this my life?’

–34th & Broadway

Chick to friends: I think my mom is going through menopause. She wants to move to Colorado.

–St. John’s University, Queens

Biotech to friend: Stop doing the tampon dance and let’s get out of here already.

–Duane Reade

Well-dressed Indian man shouting at woman: You don’t need no fucking tampons! Tampax — that’s a tampon! Tampax is the fucking mafia!

–2 train

Overheard by: Still Confused

Wednesday One-Liners Need a Pamprin

Woman: When it’s a tampon, you can stick it anywhere.

–59th St

Overheard by: Rich

Woman on cell: …and then this big glop of bloody goop came out, and so I reached into the toilet and squeezed it to make sure it wasn’t a baby…

–13th & Broadway

20-Something chick: My shit bled like it’s never bled before.

–Elevator, 57th & 6th

Overheard by: Matt

Mulleted queer: Imagine if Virginia Slims designed a tampon!

–Bushwick, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ‘nuther black charlie chaplin

Creative genius: Just imagine if I had a tampon gun!

–St. Mark’s

Woman on cell: Well, you can’t just go handing out sanitary napkins to everyone!

–15th & Union Square East

Loud girl on cell: Yeah, so he was going for it, and I was like, “No, baby, I can’t tonight,” and he was like, “Why?” and I was like, “I got it today,” and he was like, “Aww, then nothing for a whole week!”

–CVS, 58th & 9th

Overheard by: Kate Melvin 

Today, Wednesday One-Liner Is a Woman.

Girl on cell: It just… It’s not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.

–Borough of Manhattan Community College

Overheard by: 447ght

Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!

–112th St & St. Nicholas

Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don’t PMS!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: allie

Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren’t used, though…

–Barnard

Overheard by: Brooklyn

Uh-Oh, Wednesday One-Liners Are Staining

Queer to friend: Tomorrow is flow day! That’s when you have to wear a pad and a tampon!

–W 3rd, between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: good golly

20-something girl: They didn’t have tampons, so I got Smirnoff Ice.

–Lincoln Place & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: That’s gotta hurt

Hot chick on cell: I’m off! Wish me and my menstrual cup luck!

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Woman: That would be a really awful super-power to have ?- the ability to make a woman menstruate whenever you fuck her.

–Stuyvesant Town

Overheard by: Argopelter

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry