Archive for the ‘Metrosexuals’ Category

Dirty Wednes­day One-Liner­ing

Tired thug teen, wist­ful­ly: I’d dance like crazy in a base­ment.

–R Train

Over­heard by: Jon A.

Two-year-old boy, point­ing at three-month old ba­by: Is­n’t that guy in my dance class?

–Red Hook, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Swim­fan

Clue­less man to friend: What do you call male bal­leri­nas any­way? Ballers?

–Cirque du Soleil Show, Ran­dal­l’s Is­land

Over­heard by: The­Green­Cat

Girl to friend: I did­n’t dance with him at all…I kept walk­ing away from him…I was­n’t ac­tu­al­ly a very good prom date.

–Bronx Zoo

Over­heard by: wink

Met­ro­sex­u­al on cell: Do you have a large ta­ble in your apart­ment? Is it large enough for five men to stand on? Of course, we won’t be danc­ing!

–Up­per West Side

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers, Now With De­li­cious Cred­it Crunch!

Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stim­u­lus plan won’t work! The banks have no mon­ey! We need to stim­u­late the banks! You know how? Co­caine and hook­ers!

–53rd st & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: An­drew

Pro­fes­sor: I knew the econ­o­my was bad when I saw Saks had lay­away. Lay­away is for Wal-Mart, not Saks!

–NYU Law

Guy on phone with moth­er: No, mom! I’m not go­ing to walk on Wall St to­day. (pause) Be­cause I don’t feel like get­ting hit by a falling body, that’s why.

–Broad­way & John St

Asian met­ro­sex­u­al to friend en­ter­ing cloth­ing store: No, I wan­na stim­u­late the econ­o­my!

–So­Ho

Over­heard by: Galatea

Cute young pro­fes­sion­al: I bet­ter be able to go in­to a bar and say, “I have a job, and it’s re­ces­sion proof. Wan­na see what my bed and a Mag­num con­dom look like?”

–72nd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Lind­say D.

Guy on cell: I’m telling you, when a place like that switch­es from Charmin to Du­ane Reade toi­let pa­per, you know the econ­o­my is in the shit­ter.

–Great Jones & Broad­way