Archive for the ‘Mexicans’ Category

The Pogo Stick Made an Hon­est Woman Out of Her

Teen girl #1: I got a doc­tor’s ap­point­ment af­ter school to­day. My mom saw this hick­ey and she’s tak­ing me for a preg­nan­cy test.
Teen boy: Yo, Mex­i­can mom’s is crazy.
Teen girl #2: That sucks. If my mom ever tries to take me, I’m telling her it’s a civ­il rights vi­o­la­tion.
Teen girl #1: I al­ready got my ex­cuse. I’m gonna say it bust­ed when I was rid­ing my bike.
Teen boy: No, that’s no good. Say you was jumpin’ up and down.

–7 train

Then They Both Linked Arms and Skipped Off to Eter­nal Damna­tion

(group of black teenagers board the train)
Teenage girl: God­damn, there are a lot of peo­ple on this train.
Mid­dle-aged Mex­i­can woman: How dare you? How dare you! I am a Chris­t­ian and I will not put up with this. Not on my train. You are dis­re­spect­ing our Lord and every Chris­t­ian on this train! God sent his beloved son Je­sus down to the earth to save our souls, and I will not put up with hear­ing you speak against him. I am a Chris­t­ian and… Nah, I’m just fuck­ing with ‘ya.

–E Train

Over­heard by: fu­soya

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Are Koo Koo

Hobo: Was it right to be kicked out of a house for be­ing an adult with a child mind? You don’t get it, la­dy. There’s a whole house of adults with child minds. What­ev­er. See ya! Would­n’t want to be ya!

–F train

Queer: He to­tal­ly has to un­der­stand that he’s crazy and that those Martha Stew­art peo­ple are crazy too!

–27th street of­fice

Crazy la­dy: Well, I think you should give me my mu­si­cal in­stru­ments back be­cause I know that you’ve been steal­ing them every day for the last nine years. Yes, I’m sure! I have proof. You see, that’s not mu­sic. That’s not rock and roll. That’s just crazy.

–Bed­ford Av­enue sta­tion

Over­heard by: Greg Rut­ter

Crazy man: I al­ready told you I don’t have no chick­en. Be­sides, I gave you that tree last week.

–54th & 11th

Crazy woman: I’ve got demons be­hind me, shit next to me, and the ug­ly ones in front of me. I need an an­gel above me.

–World Fi­nan­cial Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Dr. Bal­lon

Crazy bag la­dy: Stay away from the peo­ple! Stay away from the id­iot Mex­i­cans!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Kaitlen

Suit: …and I swear to God, man, the whole time? That creepy deaf-mute babysit­ter from across the hall?…is watch­ing me.

–46th & 8th

Over­heard by: ballpeen ham­mer

Crazy la­dy: I don’t be­lieve this. Pussyass son of a fuck­ing fag­got!

–Lex­ing­ton & 23rd

Hobo: Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you!

–19th be­tween 7th & 8th

Pe­dro Does Un­der­cov­er Work for Moms Through­out the Tri-State Area

Moth­er: Hon­ey, your dress is just too low. I know you don’t mean to, but when you wear things that show that much of you, you at­tract the wrong kind of men.
Scary Mex­i­can man sit­ting across: Oh hon­ey, you def­i­nite­ly do.
(girl hasti­ly pulls her dress up)

–1 Train

Over­heard by: An­na

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Eat Chur­ro

Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too dis­tract­ed on the phone, and I don’t trust any­one in this ter­mi­nal. Peo­ple are speak­ing Span­ish be­hind me, if you know what I mean.