Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train
Tourist backpacker with hands on subway doors: Do these open on their own?
Tourist mom to uncool son: Well, that's what you get for trying to be a hipster!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: j
Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Garden! It's huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a picture of the restaurant) –Times Square Obese Midwestern woman to obese Midwestern man: Oooh, Applebee's… Now I feel at home here! –Times Square Southern tourist guy: I thought people in Greenwich Village would look stranger. –Bleecker Street Tourist from west coast, after observing the locals for a few innings: You know, Seinfeld makes so much more sense to me now. –Cheap Seats, Coney Island Cyclones Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen
Hipster to 50-something tourist who is blocking the way: Hey, lady, where you from?
Woman, proudly: Kansas.
Hipster: Well, Dorothy, this is not Kansas. This is Times Square, New York City, now get the fuck out of the way! (crowd cheers) –Times Square Overheard by: G-man
A hobo is holding a sign that reads, “Why lie? I need a beer.”
Hobo: Hey there, mister.
Cleveland guy: Is he serious?
Cleveland girl: I don’t know. What do we do?
Hobo: Smile, folks! It’s a joke! I need a whole six-pack! –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: Gave him five dollars
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1, gesturing towards naked man and woman standing in doorway: Do they want us to walk through them?
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that's the point.
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I'm gonna eat a mint. –MoMA, Marina Abramovic Exhibit Overheard by: aaron(b)
Midwestern child: Daddy, what’s that candle thing?
Midwestern father: It’s called a menorah. They use it on Jewish Christmas. —Spamalot, Shubert Theatre, W 44th St
Mid-western mother to suit crossing against light: Excuse me, sir?
Suit, in mid-intersection: Yes?
Mother: You’re setting a bad example for my daughter -crossing against the light.
Suit, continuing on his way: Yes, I am. –45th & 5th
Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry. The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look. Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: James Lin
Tour guide: The school campus has been in many film and television productions, including The Good Shepherd, Law and Order, and most notably the classic Debbie Does Dallas.
Big Midwestern dad: I thought I recognized that library! –Pratt Institute, Brooklyn Overheard by: PrattStudent09
Michigan tourist: The first time I came to New York, Shannon and I saw two men pull knives on each other–they had a gang fight in the street!
Michigan tourist's mom: Oh my!
Michigan tourist: It was hysterical. We took pictures. –Long Island Railroad