Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

She Start­ed Out As Mon­et’s “Woman with Para­sol”

Lit­tle boy star­ing at pho­to of up­side-down, top­less strip­per: Dad­dy, what is she do­ing?
Vis­i­bly un­com­fort­able fa­ther: Uh… she’s ex­er­cis­ing.
Lit­tle boy: But why is she naked? Is it be­cause she got hot?
Fa­ther: Uh… yes. Let’s go find those Mon­ets.

–Mo­MA

Over­heard by: Ale­jan­dra

When You Wednes­day Up­on a One-Lin­er, It Makes No Dif­fer­ence Who You Are

Guy walk­ing by him­self: I wish every­body who is not men­tal­ly ill would just drop dead!

–9th St, Park Slope

Over­heard by: Rear Ad­mi­ral Butts

Guy (ad­mir­ing­ly, to at­trac­tive girl pass­ing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Ditzy girl to an­oth­er, about her boyfriend: He’s teach­ing him­self phi­los­o­phy right now. He bought a phi­los­o­phy dic­tio­nary. He can do that, you know, be­cause he’s so smart. I wish I could do that!

–As­to­ria

Over­heard by: square­hand

Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my al­bum.

–Mu­se­um of Mod­ern Art

Over­heard by: Gi­no

Se­ri­ous girl: I wish I had got­ten the ovaries!

–Ko­re­an Bap­tist Church, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Evan

.…And Groom a Bit.

Mid­dle-aged mid-west­ern woman of a cer­tain age #1, ges­tur­ing to­wards naked man and woman stand­ing in door­way: Do they want us to walk through them?
Mid­dle-aged mid-west­ern woman of a cer­tain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that’s the point.
Mid­dle-aged mid-west­ern woman of a cer­tain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I’m gonna eat a mint.

–Mo­MA, Ma­ri­na Abramovic Ex­hib­it

Over­heard by: aaron(b)

They Make Cof­fee-Fla­vored Con­doms, Right?

Hus­band: I can’t fuck­ing be­lieve you fell asleep while I was mak­ing love to you.
Wife: Yeah, well maybe if your dick was big­ger, I would be more in­clined to stay up!
(pause)
Hus­band: Maybe we should get a di­vorce.
Wife: Why? So you can bore some hot 20-some­thing in­to falling asleep on your dick?

–In line, MO­MA

Head­line by: Ba­by

Run­ners-Up:
· “Cathy Once Again Us­es Her Over­whelm­ing Log­ic to Get Out Of Di­vorce” — Er­i­ca
· “Is­n’t That What Roofies Are For?” — KJM
· “Nar­colep­sy De­stroys Fam­i­lies.” — KJM
· “She Called It His “Snooze But­ton”” — Tay­lor-Like-Woah
· “The One Con­ver­sa­tion That Every Mar­ried Cou­ple Has Had at Least Once” — I know I have
· “This Per­for­mance Art Piece Will Be Here All Week” — TV

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Don’t Be Such a Lit­tle Moma­phobe

Tween girl: My dad flies in­to New York air­port tonight; where is that?
Tween boy: It’s in Jer­sey.
Tween girl: Id­iot! It’s New York air­port.
Tween boy: It’s Newark air­port, and it’s in Jer­sey.
Tween girl: New York air­port and it’s in New Jer­sey? That’s gay.
Tween boy: You’re gay.
Tween girl: Shut up! We’re at the mu­se­um!

–out­side Mo­MA

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Hezbol­lah

Of­fi­cer to old la­dy: Hey, don’t leave you bag on the floor, there are ter­ror­ist every­where.

–45th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: StriderNo9

Suit on cell: So you’re gonna vote for a Mus­lim and a ter­ror­ist?

–Mo­MA

Hip­ster to friend: Yeah, ter­ror­ists to­tal­ly love Bush.

–46th and 9th

Over­heard by: choos­ing not to cap­i­tal­ize the B

Tourist: Are you guys ter­ror­ists?

–Ral­ly for Gaza, 42nd & 7th

Over­heard by: ooga booga

Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like “What do you call peo­ple who hate ketchup?” (no re­sponse) “Al-Qae­da!” (bursts out laugh­ing) Get it? It’s fun­ny be­cause they don’t have ketchup in Iraq!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Ketchup lover