Mom: You wanna play with my iPod? I put your favorite Bieber songs on there.
Three-year-old: He not my favorite anymore.
Mom: He’s not? How come?
Three-year-old: Mommy, he’s just a white boy from Canada.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: not a belieber
Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category
Almost As Sick As Your Power Dynamic?
Harassed mother to four-year-old: Max, can we pleeaase just take a cab, it’s too cold to wait for a bus!
Four-year-old: No! Cabs make me feel sick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: cherrypips
Money’s Too Tight for Steak
Daughter: Mom, is beef steak?
Mother: No, steak is steak.
–Mexican restaurant, Floral Park
…And, Secondly, That’s a Door.
Kid on subway: Mom! That is a mad big window!
Mom: Honey, that’s not proper English. You say “that window is mad big.”
–G Train
I’ve Never Been More Proud.
Angry 20-something girl: Dad, you realize that when you refuse to give me the keys to my car that he’s been illegally driving, you are effective enabling him to steal from me!
Confused-looking dad: Well, I understand how you feel, honey, really I do, but…
Angry 20-something girl (cutting him off): Don’t fucking placate me, you sonofabitch!
Confused-looking dad (looking helplessly toward his wife): Cheryl…your daughter is yelling at me using profanity and words I don’t know.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Krystal
So Let’s Go to the Supermarket and Kill Two Birds with One Stone
Little girl: Mom, can we go in the supermarket? I want honeycombs.
Mom: No.
Little girl: Mom!
Mom: Girl! You make wanna have a cigarette.
–Outside Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
Overheard by: Glenn T
You’re Gonna Ruin My Kids’ Ritalin Buzz
Dude #1: Dude, you see how hot Sara looked last night?
Dude #2: Dude, I would fucking lick her ass.
Dude #3: Dude, there’s kids around.
Dude #2: What, what did I say?
Dude #3: That you’d fuckin’ lick Sara’s ass!
40-something mom of three: Why don’t you know your fuckin’ surroundings, fuckface? There’s kids around.
Dude #2: Harsh, man.
–Park Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Gary
For Buying Me Shoes with Laces Instead of Velcro
Mother: Your shoes are untied. Should we stop so you can tie them?
Son: No!
Mother: Well, okay… But if you fall and break your nose, it’s your fault.
Son: No! It’s your fault!
–54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
We’ll Change It Once White People Start Saying It
Kid: Mom, where you at?
Mom: I’m right here, baby, and it’s not where you at, it’s where you is.
–Crowded store
Overheard by: spamandvikings
Don’t Help with My Homework Anymore, Okay?
Mom: Look at the sea lions, buddy!
Little boy: I don’t see any lions.
Mom: Well, they’re not really lions — they’re whales, just like dolphins!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Why isn’t there birth control in the water supply?
