Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

Shish Kanish Is That Falafel Place Over on Third

10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer. –Tenement Museum Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy

To Confuse Assassins

Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know. –3 train, Times Square Overheard by: Eric Kuo

You Still Have That Ouija Board?

Mom: Don’t lean over the tracks like that.
Five-year-old son: I’m just looking for the train.
Mom: It’s dangerous, you could fall.
Five-year-old son: Daddy’s doing it. You’re not saying it to him.
Mom: I’m your mother, and I told you to stop. Daddy can do what he wants. [Boy sulks for a few minutes.] Okay, do you want to call Grandma when we get home so she can yell at Daddy for leaning over the tracks?
Five-year-old son: Yes. –34th St subway platform