Little boy, pointing at juice boxes: I want Clifford!
Mom: No! Those aren’t organic!
–Uptown Fairway
Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category
On Tonight’s Episode Of My Seventeen Dads…
Exasperated mother: C’mon, we’re going to be late.
Hyperactive boy: No! We have to wait for daddy!
Exasperated mother: What? Your father’s in Philly.
Hyperactive boy: My other daddy!
Exasperated mother: Who, Bob?
Hyperactive Boy: No, Gary!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Mommy’s Been Busy
Bonus Points for “You’re Fired” Usage
Mother: When I’m so old that I think it’s okay to wear a fanny pack, please just set me on fire and walk away.
Chick: Okay.
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
I Can’t Promise They’re Razorblade-Free, Though
Two-year-old boy: Mommy, I’m hungry.
Young mother: Okay honey, do you want some animal crackers when we get home?
Two-year-old boy: (sighs deeply) Okayyy, are they organic?
Young mother: Oh, of course they are! (hugs him reassuringly).
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: Miki
Good Work, Citizen– We’ll Take It from Here!
Little girl with brand new doll: Mommy, what should I name her? I think I’ll name her “Pussy”!
Mother: Uh!
Little girl: Pussy! Like “pussycat”!
Mother: Okay… maybe we should think of a different name!
Hipster sitting next to them: I’m going to have to send a few texts about this.
–Bus
Overheard by: bradlea
In Queens, If I Get My Way
Four-year-old boy: Dad, if I die, when will I come back?
Father: As far as I know, you won’t.
Four-year-old boy, untroubled, thoughtful: But…what if everyone dies?
Father: Well, other people will take their place. Because everyone doesn’t die at once. Know what I mean?
Four-year-old boy: Where will we put mom if she dies?
Mother, just arriving: Good grief!
Father: In the ground. In a box in the ground.
–Barnes & Noble
Later in Life, Roy Could Only Piss on Command
Mother: Do you have to pee?
Little boy: No.
Mother: Yes, you must!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Another mother
And Prickly
Mom: Let’s take the stairs, honey.
Thick daughter: Are you saying I’m fat?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Jason
Let’s Just Run Through Traffic and Hope for the Best
Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line.
Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don’t think it’s safe to take the subway, let’s get out.
–Prince Street Subway Stop
Wednesday One-Liners Regret Listening to Their Biological Clocks
Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don’t ruin it.
–Gourmet Garage
Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.
–NBC Studios
Overheard by: Tracy
Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!
–Central Park
Overheard by: chellie
Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don’t start behavin’ I’m gonna send you in for the new model!
–R Train
Overheard by: Kait
Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don’t do that! You gonna get germs! Yo’ hand gonna fall off!
–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp
Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he’s stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.
–East Village
Mom holding little boy’s hand: Forget everything you’ve seen today.
–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today
