Archive for the ‘Movie Theaters’ Category

Overheard Goes to the Midnight Premiere

Stormtrooper: Man, I can’t even move in this thing.

Star Wars geek #1: They said no dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: No lightsaber duels?
Star Wars geek #2: No, the’re no lightsaber dueling in the theater.
Star Wars geek #1: But they’re dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: Yeah, but he’s Yoda.

Lady: Look, I’ve been saving this seat since Attack of the Clones.

Dude: Cool lightsaber.
Dork: Thanks.
Dude: Where’d you get it? Geek.com?
Dork: No. Borders. 

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Nerd: At this point, my expectations are so low, as long as Darth Vader’s in it and a lot of people get killed, I’ll be happy. 

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Fanboy: That was great. Now all we need is the technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to erase the first two.

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Overheard by: Jaybill McCarthy

She Totally Got Sodomized by the Hulk

Girl: I talked to Jackie. She got some kind of bug in India!
Guy: Oh, no! What happened?
Girl: I don’t think I should talk about this now.
Guy: Whatever, no one cares.
Girl: Okay. Well, she was shitting green.
Guy: Oh, my God! Wait, I should not be laughing, that is not funny at all.
Girl: Yeah, and the doctor asked her to bring in a stool sample and she was shitting so much that she brought one in a half hour later. The doctors were like, “What the fuck?”.

–Union Square Regal Cinemas

The Filming of Back to School II

Eddie Izzard: We’ve explored space, but we haven’t drilled down. You all remember Journey to the Center of the Earth. Why don’t we just drill down to the center and see the…what’s it called?
Guy: Magma.
Eddie Izzard: Yeah, we’ll get a heat resistant camera and we’ll see the magma. And they’ll make a documentary–
Guy: It wouldn’t work.
Eddie Izzard: Eh?
Guy: The density would be too intense.
Eddie Izzard: No, we would take the rocks out behind us–
Guy: No, the air would be too dense. As you approach the center of
the earth, the density of the air increases.
Eddie Izzard: But what if you took the rocks out?
Guy: No, the air would still be too dense.
Eddie Izzard: Oh, well I guess you would know better than I. You must be some sort of scientist?
Guy: Actually, I’m an actor…but I took science class.

–The Village Theatre, Bleecker Street

Melinda Experiences Multi-Level Embarrassment

Guy: I have a confession to make.
Girl: Can’t you make it to me after the movie?
Guy: I can’t help it, but I took a picture of your butthole last night while you were dozing.
Girl: You what?!
Obese lady in front row: Would you queers shut the fuck up?! I’m trying to watch this shit!

–AMC Theater, 42nd St

Overheard by: Scott

Wednesday One-Liners– As Far As You Know

Man on cell, coming out of The Dark Knight: I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick up your call, I was in a very important meeting with a client.

–Lowes Movie Theater, 68th & Broadway

Guy on cell walking out of subway entrance: I’m getting on the subway now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Female suit on cell: Well, I can’t talk long, I’m about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: pop pop

Overweight woman to daughter in pink tutu: You made me come here! Don’t lie! Don’t lie! Don’t lie!

–Ikea, Redhook

Overheard by: Emily B.

Annoying anchor: I’m writing a newscast. I don’t have time to check facts.

–CBS News Headquarters, 57th St

Overheard by: The Shadow News Bunny