Archive for the ‘Movie Theaters’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers– As Far As You Know

Man on cell, com­ing out of The Dark Knight: I’m sor­ry that I could­n’t pick up your call, I was in a very im­por­tant meet­ing with a client.

–Lowes Movie The­ater, 68th & Broad­way

Guy on cell walk­ing out of sub­way en­trance: I’m get­ting on the sub­way now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Over­heard by: Rich Mintz

Fe­male suit on cell: Well, I can’t talk long, I’m about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Bat­tery Park

Over­heard by: pop pop

Over­weight woman to daugh­ter in pink tu­tu: You made me come here! Don’t lie! Don’t lie! Don’t lie!

–Ikea, Red­hook

Over­heard by: Emi­ly B.

An­noy­ing an­chor: I’m writ­ing a news­cast. I don’t have time to check facts.

–CBS News Head­quar­ters, 57th St

Over­heard by: The Shad­ow News Bun­ny

The Film­ing of Back to School II

Ed­die Iz­zard: We’ve ex­plored space, but we haven’t drilled down. You all re­mem­ber Jour­ney to the Cen­ter of the Earth. Why don’t we just drill down to the cen­ter and see the…what’s it called?
Guy: Mag­ma.
Ed­die Iz­zard: Yeah, we’ll get a heat re­sis­tant cam­era and we’ll see the mag­ma. And they’ll make a doc­u­men­tary–
Guy: It would­n’t work.
Ed­die Iz­zard: Eh?
Guy: The den­si­ty would be too in­tense.
Ed­die Iz­zard: No, we would take the rocks out be­hind us–
Guy: No, the air would be too dense. As you ap­proach the cen­ter of
the earth, the den­si­ty of the air in­creas­es.
Ed­die Iz­zard: But what if you took the rocks out?
Guy: No, the air would still be too dense.
Ed­die Iz­zard: Oh, well I guess you would know bet­ter than I. You must be some sort of sci­en­tist?
Guy: Ac­tu­al­ly, I’m an actor…but I took sci­ence class.

–The Vil­lage The­atre, Bleeck­er Street

Over­heard Goes to the Cin­e­ma

Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Fin­er den Ush­er?
Girl #1: Nah, no­body fin­er den Ush­er.

–The Pavil­ion, Park Slope

Black guy: Yo, fuck the Je­di. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the oth­er Dark Lord you’ve been look­ing for.

–86th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Joshua S.

Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Bud­dhist, but I’m re­al­ly a Sith.

–UA movie the­ater, Union Square

Over­heard by: Lara Evan­ge­lista

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Looked Bet­ter in the Pre­views

Husky un­shaved guy to younger girl­friend: You mean you nev­er saw An­i­mal House? You’re not hu­man!

–Low­er West Side

Thug to an­oth­er: Jab­ba the Hutt? That’s like some Tony So­pra­no shit, nig­ga. And the spices? That’s drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My Eng­lish teacher said Pre­cious is “whack.”

–City Cin­e­mas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bul­gar­i­an pro­fes­sor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It’s very fun­ny, right?

–NYU

Over­heard by: re­al­ly glad I got up be­fore 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, af­ter that movie, I’m gonna think all adopt­ed kids are evil dwarfs with a hor­mone im­bal­ance.

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

I Know We Work on the First Floor, But It Would Be So Em­barass­ing for Her

La­dy suit: I mean, if she got hit by a bus or some­thing and he was griev­ing and I brought over a casse­role, he would to­tal­ly fall in love with me.
Suit #1: It would have to be a damn good casse­role.
La­dy suit: I make a damn good casserole–have you nev­er had my casse­role?
Suit #2: Maybe we should in­vite her over to the of­fice and have a par­ty on the bal­cony, and then we can all bump in­to her at the same time and push her off.

–Lin­coln Plaza Cin­e­mas

Over­heard by: in­die movie girl