Archive for the ‘Movie Theaters’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Looked Bet­ter in the Pre­views

Husky un­shaved guy to younger girl­friend: You mean you nev­er saw An­i­mal House? You’re not hu­man!

–Low­er West Side

Thug to an­oth­er: Jab­ba the Hutt? That’s like some Tony So­pra­no shit, nig­ga. And the spices? That’s drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My Eng­lish teacher said Pre­cious is “whack.”

–City Cin­e­mas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bul­gar­i­an pro­fes­sor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It’s very fun­ny, right?


Over­heard by: re­al­ly glad I got up be­fore 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, af­ter that movie, I’m gonna think all adopt­ed kids are evil dwarfs with a hor­mone im­bal­ance.

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

I Know We Work on the First Floor, But It Would Be So Em­barass­ing for Her

La­dy suit: I mean, if she got hit by a bus or some­thing and he was griev­ing and I brought over a casse­role, he would to­tal­ly fall in love with me.
Suit #1: It would have to be a damn good casse­role.
La­dy suit: I make a damn good casserole–have you nev­er had my casse­role?
Suit #2: Maybe we should in­vite her over to the of­fice and have a par­ty on the bal­cony, and then we can all bump in­to her at the same time and push her off.

–Lin­coln Plaza Cin­e­mas

Over­heard by: in­die movie girl

You’ll Have to Pry It from My Cold, Dead Hands

[guy takes a flyer]Flyer guy: Hey, do you want to know about…
Guy in­ter­rupt­ing: No.
[guy goes in­to re­volv­ing door and fly­er guy fol­lows him in­to the same sec­tion of the door and stops it]Flyer guy: Don’t be such a jerk­wad, I want my fly­er back.

–68th St Loews

Over­heard by: LSB

In That It Sucks for All Eter­ni­ty

Girl #1, in line for movie: This line is so long. Maybe we should go see an­oth­er movie and come back and get our phones af­ter.
Girl #2: That’s not a bad idea. What could we see?
Girl #1: I would to­tal­ly see Twi­light again.
Girl #2: I did­n’t see it the first time you guys went.
Girl #1: Oh my god! You would love it! Did you like De­gras­si?
Girl #2: Of course! That show is awe­some.
Girl #1: Well Twi­light is like De­gras­si but with vam­pires. It’s awe­some!

–Loews Lin­coln Cen­ter The­ater

Over­heard by: Suf­fer­ing in si­lence

Thanks for Giv­ing Me an Es­cape Route

Guy yup­pie: So, one of the in­ter­est­ing things about that movie is, re­mem­ber I read that book by Neil Strauss all about how he picked up women? Well, a lot of the things the main char­ac­ter in that movie did are the things that Strauss ad­vo­cates.
Girl yup­pie: Okay, give me an ex­am­ple.
Guy yup­pie: Well, you know how in one of their first meet­ings he pro­posed to her? That’s one of the things he sug­gests.
Girl yup­pie: Is that why on our sec­ond date you pro­posed to me?
Guy yup­pie: Uh, you know I on­ly read that book af­ter we start­ed dat­ing… So I did that on my own…
Girl yup­pie: And does­n’t he just show you how to get a girl to have sex with you, not to have a re­la­tion­ship, and you weren’t look­ing just for sex, but a re­la­tion­ship, so what he wrote would­n’t have ap­plied to you, right?
Guy yup­pie: Yeah, ex­act­ly.

–Out­side a show­ing of The Sci­ence of Sleep, BAM

If This Con­ver­sa­tion Goes on for Much Longer, There Def­i­nite­ly Is­n’t a God.

Boy, af­ter watch­ing An In­con­ve­nient Truth: Do you be­lieve in god?
Girl: I be­lieve in moth­er na­ture.
Boy: You don’t be­lieve in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I be­lieve this is hap­pen­ing be­cause of na­ture.
Boy: But you be­lieve in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Moth­er na­ture?
Girl: Moth­er na­ture is not like a per­son… It’s just a say­ing for na­ture.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or some­thing.

–Re­gal Cin­e­ma, Union Square

Over­heard by: Noe­man Sam­dani