Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners–Easy As 1, 2, 3

Conductor: This is 72nd St. Stand clear of the closing doors. B train. B for “brighten up your day” train. (at the next stop) Folks, this is 59th Street, and just like magic we are now an express train. B express train. Stand clear of the closing doors.

–B Train

Overheard by: ryder

Train conductor: You can transfer to the M as in “money,” the N as in “Nick,” and the R as in “Romeoooooo!”

–D Train

Guy on cell, giving directions: So you take the D line… No, D as in “David.” D! D! A, b, c, d! (pause) No, D. Okay…then you walk down to Hoffman Street… Hoffman Street, as in “Dustin Hoffman.” He’s that actor, with a big nose, that you really like, the one that’s in that movie about your life…yeah…yeah! He’s a cross-dresser! Tootsie! That’s you, bro!

–Arthur Ave

Overheard by: eternal student

Creepy old man to creepy friend: We should be on the V. V for “vagina”. We’re on the F. F for “fuck.”

–Downtown F Train

Overheard by: CL

Conductor: There is no C train like “Charlie” all weekend. The D train like “Dick” is helping us out. I probably shouldn’t have said that. It’s okay, you’ll overlook that when I tell you that this A train will keep its express status.

–A Train

Overheard by: Nay

Overheard Goes to the Midnight Premiere

Stormtrooper: Man, I can’t even move in this thing.

Star Wars geek #1: They said no dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: No lightsaber duels?
Star Wars geek #2: No, the’re no lightsaber dueling in the theater.
Star Wars geek #1: But they’re dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: Yeah, but he’s Yoda.

Lady: Look, I’ve been saving this seat since Attack of the Clones.

Dude: Cool lightsaber.
Dork: Thanks.
Dude: Where’d you get it? Geek.com?
Dork: No. Borders. 

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Nerd: At this point, my expectations are so low, as long as Darth Vader’s in it and a lot of people get killed, I’ll be happy. 

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Fanboy: That was great. Now all we need is the technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to erase the first two.

–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street 

Overheard by: Jaybill McCarthy

Wednesday One-Liners Hope the Building Doesn’t Go Condo

Father to young son: We’ll get an apartment in Kentucky. Then you’ll only have to go to school through 6th grade.”

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Dashing Dan

Jewy girl on cell: He’s an apartment broker?… Last time you said he dealt with hedge funds… Yea, I don’t think they are the same thing.

–21st St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lezbotron

Guy: Well, my week has been interesting. Last month Meredith tried to sublet my apartment right out from under me. So, this week I went through her stuff and mailed her boyfriend –wait no, fiancé– a receipt from when she got an abortion last summer.

–10th & 1st

Overheard by: ED

Reasonable cop: Even though it’s a stinkin friggin apartment, he’s got a place to put his ugly fuckin head.

–Dunkin Donuts, Woodside, Queens

Twink #1 to twink #2: I believe in my heart of hearts that I should live in an apartment like the ones in Woody Allen movies.

–50th St & 9th Ave

Conductor on very crowded F train: Those of you with very small apartments will appreciate them now.

–F Train

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.