Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: “Is This Thing On?”

PA sys­tem: Leia, please meet your par­ty at the front. Leia, not the princess, please meet your par­ty at the front.

–Bed, Bath & Be­yond, 18th & 6th

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca

An­nounc­er over loud­speak­er: The time is now one am o’­clock!

–Bag­gage Claim, JFK

Over­heard by: Kim­mie

Loud­speak­er an­nounce­ment: At­ten­tion, all late night shop­pers, this is a live an­nounce­ment. I re­peat, this is not a record­ing! Right now, in our deli de­part­ment, ful­ly-cooked chick­ens! Come on over and get your chick­ens! They’re hot! They’re fresh! And they were alive this morn­ing!

–Path­mark, Cropsey Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Sta­cy

An­nounce­ment over loud­speak­er dur­ing class: Hel­lo, I’m sor­ry for the in­ter­rup­tion. Mr Poland Spring, you have to go out­side, they’re about to tow your truck.

–Stuyvesant High School

Loud­speak­er: Good af­ter­noon, East Side. Fag football…oops, I mean “flag foot­ball” will meet in the cafe­te­ria im­me­di­ate­ly fol­low­ing ad­vi­so­ry.

–East Side Com­mu­ni­ty High School

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Have Cool Spiny Backs and Tiny Tiny Brains

Woman: That movie’s so stu­pid! They got King Kong and the di­nosaurs fight­ing even though they are from dif­fer­ent cen­turies.

–Ma­ma’s Piz­za, 106th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Kyle T

Teen girl: You know, I don’t think I even be­lieve in di­nosaurs.

–Star­bucks, As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Paul

A New York Mo­ment

A woman has a chi­huahua in her purse. An old man en­ters the train.

Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him every­where?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spi­der-man yes­ter­day.
Old man: You saw Spi­der-man yes­ter­day?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.

The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.

Woman: That was weird.

–V Train