Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

A New York Mo­ment

A woman has a chi­huahua in her purse. An old man en­ters the train.

Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him every­where?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spi­der-man yes­ter­day.
Old man: You saw Spi­der-man yes­ter­day?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.

The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.

Woman: That was weird.

–V Train

If They Had Kids, There’s a Fifth Op­tion

Girl: Think you’ll be able to con­vince your par­ents to go see a movie or some­thing over Christ­mas?
Guy: Not a chance. My par­ents are im­pos­si­ble to mo­ti­vate to do any­thing.
Girl: Ah, I bet you could get them to at least try dur­ing the hol­i­days.
Guy: I’m not kidding…They are com­plete­ly ex­haust­ed by eat­ing, sleep­ing, shit­ting, and work­ing. That’s all they have en­er­gy for.

–Tomp­kins Square Park

Over­heard by: BBW

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Do Dal­las

Hobo: I was an ex­tra in the movie [in­audi­ble] Times Square, man! Did you see it? I was the one down on my knees scream­ing, ‘I’m a born-again porno ad­dict!’

–N train

Man on cell: Yo, dude, I don’t know what to get! They got all kinds of shit in there!

–Out­side adult video store, 14th & 6th

Over­heard by: Sarah

Hot chick on cell: Why are you so stressed?! This sounds like a good thing! Don’t be so se­ri­ous about it! It’ll be okay! Here, did you know there’s an an­i­mal rights group called ‘Porn Stars for Pups’?

–The Black Sheep

Over­heard by: Ar­gopel­ter

Guy on cell, push­ing by cou­ple with ba­by in stroller: I’m not go­ing to Cal­i­for­nia! I pay her twelve hun­dred dol­lars per hour. If she does­n’t sleep with Niko, then fire her! I lost a hun­dred thir­ty-eight fuck­ing grand yes­ter­day! Tell her what to do, and deal with it!

–Ho­r­a­tio & Hud­son

Over­heard by: Stephen Lind­say

An­gry girl to friend: Se­ri­ous­ly, Chris, can’t we go one day with­out talk­ing about shiz­er porn?!

–East Vil­lage

Over­heard Goes to the Cin­e­ma

Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Fin­er den Ush­er?
Girl #1: Nah, no­body fin­er den Ush­er.

–The Pavil­ion, Park Slope

Black guy: Yo, fuck the Je­di. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the oth­er Dark Lord you’ve been look­ing for.

–86th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Joshua S.

Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Bud­dhist, but I’m re­al­ly a Sith.

–UA movie the­ater, Union Square

Over­heard by: Lara Evan­ge­lista

Ooo, What About Ice Princess?

Teen #1: What do you think is like the best sports movie ever?
Teen #2: I think The Green Mile.
Teen #3: That ain’t no sports movie, man!
Teen #2: He was run­nin’!
Teen #1: I like Rudy.
Teen #2: Naw man, Rudy was a fuckin’ bench­warmer.
Teen #3: Naw, Rudy is all about how the lit­tle guy can per­se­vere.
Teen #1: I cried at Rudy.
Teen #3, touch­ing his heart: Yeah, man, Rudy hurts.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Bren­da