Archive for the ‘Multiculturalism, Overheard Style’ Category

No, Seriously — Let’s Hit It

Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you!
Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take‑a off the pant.

Stairway in silence.

Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Sure thing, ma’am. I’m sorry.
Chinese kid: And that’s why we respect our elders. 

–Canal St station

Clearly the Googleionaires Have Never Walked the NYC Streets

Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 11:51:21 ‑0700
From: Google AdSense 
To: [email protected]
Subject: Google AdSense Account Status
Cc: Google AdSense

Hello Steven,

Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. After reviewing your application, our program specialists have found that it does not comply with our policies. Therefore, we’re unable to accept you into Google AdSense at this time.

We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below. If you are able to resolve these issues, please feel free to reply to this email for reconsideration when you have made the changes.

Issues:

- Inappropriate language

— —  —  —  —  — —

Further detail:

Inappropriate language: We’ve found that your website contains content that isn’t in compliance with our program policies. We don’t allow websites with excessive profanity or potentially offensive content to participate in Google AdSense. Please review our policies(https://www.google.com/adsense/policies?hl=en_US) for a complete list of site content not allowed on web pages.

[Surely they don’t mean “nigga”? –Ed.]

Just Get Him Sauced and Toss Him in the Broiler

Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: We’ll have unaju. I think unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river.
Obnoxious white laywer to the Japanese sushi chef: We’ll have unaju. Is it true that unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river?
Japanese sushi chef nods politely.
Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: Did you hear that? Unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river.

–Shimizu, W 51st & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Asian American couple who had to deal with this all night long