Archive for the ‘Multiculturalism, Overheard Style’ Category

All Women Date in Color: Green

Teen girl #1: I totally don’t dream in color.
Teen girl #2: No, but you date in it.

–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island

Overheard by: Lola Black

Chick #1: I want to see a play about interracial relationships. I want to have an interracial relationship.
Chick #2: I’m interracial; I have an interracial relationship with myself.
Chick #3: That’s why you’re so confused.
Chick #1: That’s why you’re so pretty.

–The Public Theater, Lafayette Street

They Did It to Confuse You

In a dark movie theater–

Black guy standing up in his seat: Yo! I’m right over here, hurry up and get your ass through the aisle.
Hispanic guy: It’s not my problem I can’t see you in the dark, cuz you so black! The only the thing I can see is your white t-shirt, but everybody has white on

–Lincoln Center AMC Theater

Overheard by: JKim

Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.

–N train, Astoria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eckerd, Astoria

Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St entrance, FDR

Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.

–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Stephen and Allison

Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!

–New York Public Library

Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library

Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.

–114th & Broadway

Wednesday One-liners Are Pastafarians

Man: …and then she’s gon’ ask me, “How was church?” I’m like, get the fuck outta here. How many times have I asked her to go to Goddamn church with me? Every fuckin’ Sunday, I ask that bitch to go to Goddamn church with me. Never! Not once has she come with me, now she wants to ask me, “How was fuckin’ church?”.

–Sephora, 19th & 5th

Overheard by: yassira diggs

Mormon guy: So last time I was here, I was trying to get to Columbia, and I missed my stop and got off in Harlem. And I looked around and thought, “I can’t believe I’m the only white person here!” And sure enough, I was the only white person there. I mean, I was wearing a tie!

–flight into JFK

Woman: Oh boy, you are in trouble girl. Jesus says to come over here right now. Jesus says come over here now!

–Brooklyn Museum

Guy: So I really need your advice. My wife was driving on the LIE, and she had a vision from God telling her to sleep with this other guy, so she did. Well, I finally got her to move back in with me, but now she says I’m full of shit and everything I say is a lie. I really want to work this out with her, you know?

–Penn Station

God Squad guy: I love all y’all in the name of Jesus, ’cause I got Jesus! I’m blessed, you’re stressed. I’m anointed, you’re disappointed!

–4 train

Overheard by: saltylips

God Squad woman: Here come da Jesus, fire from his mouth!

–1st Avenue L station

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Girl: Jesus there’s like a restaurant every two feet here.

–46th between 8th & 9th

Man: …come to think about it, my grandfather was in charge of the marshmallow burning during Joan of Arc’s burning, so I guess it’s in my heritage!

–45th between 8th & 9th

Overheard by: Alex Venguer

Somehow RuPaul Always Gets the Short End of the Stick

Black guy: It is the last day of Black History Month and nobody sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, happy Black History Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, whatever!
White guy: No, seriously, thank you! Thank you for Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor…
Black guy: Well I guess tomorrow I have to back to sitting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talking about? We don’t pick on blacks anymore! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh!

–Graham Street station

Overheard by: Philip Rafferty