Archive for the ‘Museums’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Ride a Ves­pa

Hip­ster on cell: I’m not even buy­ing any­thing. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trad­er Joe’s

Hip­ster boy: I loves me some mas­ter race!

–Lob­by, the Met

Over­heard by: Shay­na

Tip­sy hip­ster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christo­pher St

Hip­ster guy: I think the most tru­ly good per­son who’s ever been on this earth was Gand­hi. Or maybe Mar­tin Luther King, Ju­nior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Ghan­di was In­di­an..

Drunk chick: What kind of hip­sters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just be­cause she wants to wear a Sailor Moon cos­tume?

–St. Mark’s Pl

I Like It Bet­ter When They Talk About Star­bucks

Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a con­dom.

–Williams­burg

Over­heard by: Daniel

Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys af­ter I take blue pills.

–31st & 2nd

Girl #1: Some­times he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.

–out­side The Brook­lyn Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: Josh Neufeld

Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I was­n’t re­al­ly raped.

–Ver­ti­go, 26th & 3rd

Yup­pie chick #1: Sweet­ie, you’re go­ing to get raped dressed like that.
Yup­pie chick #2: No. I have an um­brel­la.

–De­lancey & Allen

Over­heard by: Mitchell Linet­ti

Lit­tle Kid: I’m Bid­ing My Time

Queer #1 glar­ing at near­by smok­er la­dy: Ugh!
Queer #2: I hope she gets can­cer. [Woman pass­es a lit­tle kid and en­ters mu­se­um.] That lit­tle kid should’ve kicked her.

–Out­side the Brook­lyn Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: Caulfield

Al­so “Burn Things”

Young man, about en­tire­ly light-blue paint­ing be­hind glass: What is this? What the heck is this, any­way?
Moth­er: It’s say­ing some­thing.
Young man: What’s it say­ing?
Moth­er: It’s say­ing, ‘I’m an ex­tra mir­ror. I’m here if you need me.’

–Con­tem­po­rary Art sec­tion, Mo­MA

Might Be Bet­ter to Be Fat, Ug­ly, and De­lud­ed

Asian girl: I was go­ing down the stairs just now, and this girl was get­ting se­ri­ous­ly up­set over how hor­ri­ble she looks to­day. Then the boy she was with went all, ‘Oh my god, stop it!’ and asked me, ‘Does­n’t she look good to­day?‘
White girl: And then?
Asian girl: I told him she looks love­ly, and came here.
White girl: Oh.
Asian girl: But god­dammit, I want­ed to slap her up­side the face! I mean, don’t go around cry­ing over how ug­ly you look when you’re ob­vi­ous­ly skin­ny and gor­geous — that just makes you a bitch!
White girl: Mmm-hm. Se­ri­ous­ly.

–Bronx Sci­ence