College kid #1: I want to see the Messiah.
College kid #2: Like, actually? Or Handel?
College kid #1: … Handel.
–Lincoln Square
Archive for the ‘Music’ Category
Sigmund Freud Drives a Bus?
Obnoxious girl singing Spice Girls loudly: Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want..
Bus driver, over mic: What d'you want?
–Q34 Bus
Overheard by: Donna
All That Means Is That It’s after He Went Adult Contemporary
Hipster #1 listening to Arabic music: Is this Sting?
Hipster #2: They aren’t even speaking English!
–Le Rendez-Vous Cafe
Overheard by: Pete
“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
“Bang Them Bitches” Is Gangsta for “Mommy, Love Me!”
Thug #1: Man, this nigga is so gangsta.
Thug #2, sharing thug #1’s headphones: Word. Although, really I think he just raps like that because he’s really vulnerable right now.
–L train, 1st Ave
Overheard by: kanye’s therapist
The End Of Western Civilization: An OINY Short Story.
Lawyer #1: I saw this funny video on YouTube last night. I did a search for “retards” and there was this one called “retarded Britney Spears fan.” It was a retard singing one of her songs.
Lawyer #2: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Lawyer #1: I was able to watch about two seconds of it before I had to click it off.
Lawyer #2: Did you see the one called “extreme pain”? I could only watch about five seconds of it. A guy was cutting off his own dick.
Lawyer #1: That's some sick shit. How's your cat?
Lawyer #2: You should see her. She rolls over on her back and my dog licks her between the legs for a long time, then smacks his lips.
Lawyer #1: You should video that and put it on YouTube. Call it “eating pussy.” You'll get a million hits!
–Civil Court, 141 Livingston St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies
Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.
–E Houston & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
…But It Gets Blown a Lot.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: I mean, when I see girls flocking around him when he's DJing I just think “oh, they are DJ whores.”
Little Asian friend: Uh-huh.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: But this girl has never seen him DJ or anything. I don't get it. It's beyond my level of comprehension.
Little Asian friend: It's okay, me too.
Tall, hot hipster brunette: It's like he has a slut whistle and we cannot hear that frequency.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: muffin
Or I'll Remind Everyone That Your Parents Hired an Accordion Player for Your Bat Mitzvah
Teen girl #1: I'm done with you. I hate you. I hope DJ Spinbad performs at the sweet 16 you're going to tomorrow!
Teen girl #2: Ohh you take that back. Take it back!
–5th Ave
Or Potentially “Holy Moley”
Guy: Yeah… I don’t know what key they’re singing it in.
Girl: Well if she’s singing it in the Betty Buckley key… that’s like in the key of whoa.
–Queens-bound N Train
Overheard by: cwazy nooh yawkerr