Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are in a Tran­si­tion­al Phase

Con­duc­tor (af­ter a few min­utes wait­ing at sig­nal): One of those trains bet­ter hur­ry it up and move it, I have bet­ter things to do.

–N Train

Con­duc­tor: Across the plat­form is an ex­press 3 train. The doors are open, you can make it. Go for it! Go! Catch that train! (af­ter a few stops) There is an ex­press 2 train across the plat­form. You will make it. You will not miss it. You will make it.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: mo­ti­vat­ed

Cheer­ful con­duc­tor: Wel­come to the sta­tion for­mer­ly known as Prince!

–R Train

Con­duc­tor: We are now ar­riv­ing at Grand Cen­tral. This is our fi­nal stop. We’re six min­utes ear­ly, so now you can’t say any­thing bad about us.

–Metro North Train

Over­heard by: An­gela

Con­duc­tor: That is a 1 train and all trains are run­ning ex­press. An­oth­er lo­cal won’t run til 5 am Mon­day. You can wait but we don’t serve din­ner or break­fast, and I’m all out of sleep­ing bags.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Steve

Con­duc­tor: Ladies and gen­tle­men, the train’s emer­gency brakes have been ac­ti­vat­ed for some rea­son. The train op­er­a­tor is go­ing to walk around the train and check if there’s a…body, or some­thing, un­der the train. Af­ter that, we’ll be able to move!

–C Train

Over­heard by: Pa­tient Pas­sen­ger

Train con­duc­tor: Last call for the 10:00 local…last call! Get on the train cause away we go, and it’s 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…blastoff!

–Metro North

Over­heard by: to mount kisco, and BE­YOND!

It’s All Greek to Me

Busi­ness­guy: It’s a small world.
Busi­ness­chick: Es­pe­cial­ly in As­to­ria!
Busi­ness­guy: Ha, ha, ha!
Busi­ness­chick: Hee, hee.

–Mid­town of­fice

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Spell It “Am­i­nals”

“Don’t Hate Me Be­cause I’m Wednes­day One-Lin­er”

Hobo to fe­male passer­by (singing): Pret­ty woman, walk­ing down the street/Pretty woman, eat­ing a ham­burg­er…

–Wendy’s, Union Square

Over­heard by: Hun­gry By­stander

Sales­girl to an­oth­er: You look pret­ty today…for a lit­tle Fil­ipino girl.

–Amer­i­can Ea­gle, So­Ho

Over­heard by: Hol­ly

Loud hobo walk­ing through crowd­ed train: Lots of beau­ti­ful ladies on this train. Beau­ti­ful white ladies. Beau­ti­ful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-look­ing girl) Do you wear make­up? You should­n’t. You don’t need it, you are so beau­ti­ful. If you have any make­up, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ug­ly.

–Down­town 4 Train

50-some­thing woman to pret­ty 20-some­thing girl: I just want­ed you to know that our hus­bands over there think you are one of the most beau­ti­ful girls they have ever seen. So now our hus­bands are go­ing to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be think­ing of you dur­ing, but thanks to you I am go­ing to have an or­gasm tonight, so thank you for be­ing so gor­geous.

–Boat Basin Cafe

Over­heard by: Megan W.

Guy on iPhone: You think be­cause you’re pret­ty you can get away with that shit. Well, you’re wrong! You can get away with that shit be­cause you’re rich!

–Du­ane Reade, Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: Veron­i­ca at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/