Little girl, happily: And that’s why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why’s that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!
–City Hall
Little girl, happily: And that’s why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why’s that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!
–City Hall
A buppie is parking his BMW, blasting a ’50s rock ‘n roll tune out the window.
Thug: Why a nigga wanna be listenin’ to that shit?
–Brooklyn Heights
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Blind panhandler, singing: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see… If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, come on, honey, let me know…
–N train
Overheard by: Dan McInerney
Hispanic man singing loudly to tune of ‘Yellow Submarine’: We all live in your mother’s dungarees, your mother’s dungarees, your mother’s dungarees…
–35th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CCF
Hobo singing to himself: I want to eat pussy, I want to eat pussy.
–Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: Someone in a Tree
Street corner freestyler: You can’t send me back like Elian, what the hellian?
–Washington Square
Four-year-old, singing: We in the bed like, ‘Oooh, oooh, oooh, like oooh, oooh, oooh!’
–1 train, 116th St stop
Conductor, rapping: If you hold the doors while the train’s in the station, we will be delayed getting to our destination, and you will find yourself in a situation.
–A train
Overheard by: Ladle
LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.
Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Swanny
Lady: Oh my god, I’ve heard this song before!
Patron: It’s all ABBA music, jackass.
–Mamma Mia, Winter Garden Theatre
Overheard by: Todd
Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there
Chick in stall: Would you ever eat cereal out of my mouth?
Friend in next stall: Well, if I had that background music… Yeah, sure.
–Bathroom, Joe’s Pub
[“Umbrella” by rihanna is being loudly played.]Stoned gay guy: Oh my god, I love this song. This is totally what you hear before you start shooting kids in the projects.
Gay guy: Uh, excuse me?
Stoned gay guy: Yeah. You know, it’s like your pump-up jam.
–E 10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Dying of laughter
Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]
–1 train
Overheard by: caitlinj
Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Mariah
Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.
–Forest Hills
Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!
–1 train
Overheard by: wba
Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist