Archive for the ‘Names’ Category

She Un­der­stands Ac­ces­sories

Man in pa­per hat, leather jack­et cov­ered in so­da can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t un­der­stand her lan­guage. I’m bet­ter off with… [Steps back to peer at mag­a­zine a girl is read­ing] I’m bet­ter off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m bet­ter off with Tyra.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Brownsvil­le­girl

Non-Re­cy­clable Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Con­duc­tor: Please throw away your news­pa­pers and garbage in the trash cans on sta­tion plat­forms and know that the trash cans can on­ly hold two hu­man bod­ies at a time.

–LIRR

New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of pa­pers to passer­by) Thanks, broth­er. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.

–40th & 6th

Car­riage dri­ver to horse: You see that chest­nut? That’s called “Eu­ro­trash.”

–Cen­tral Park South

Over­heard by: Andy

Gi­ant old man to scream­ing and jump­ing chil­dren: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.

–Madi­son & Nos­trand, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: g

Con­duc­tor: Please place any­one who has be­come garbage en route in the ap­pro­pri­ate re­cep­ta­cle.

–R Train

Over­heard by: Jess

Woman walk­ing down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage non­cha­lant­ly, keeps walk­ing)

–W 19th