Woman looking for friend who got lost in massive crowd: Marco! Marco!
Massive crowd of people: Polo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julia
Archive for the ‘Names’ Category
She Understands Accessories
Man in paper hat, leather jacket covered in soda can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t understand her language. I’m better off with… [Steps back to peer at magazine a girl is reading] I’m better off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m better off with Tyra.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
“Oh man! I already got the genie pants!”
Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!
–A train
Sorry, the Correct Answer is “Scatophage”
Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe?
–6 train
Non-Recyclable Wednesday One-Liners
Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.
–LIRR
New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.
–40th & 6th
Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That’s called “Eurotrash.”
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Andy
Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.
–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: g
Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jess
Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)
–W 19th
Meet Saul and Jesus
Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.
–A train
Overheard by: Cory Agid
At Least I Remember Ringo the Baptist
Younger woman: What’s the name of Jesus’ father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it’s not “John”? Forget it.
–Midtown
That Was a Request, Not a Complaint
Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind?
–Spring & W. Broadway
The Muslim World Is Still Pissed at Him
Middle-aged woman: I think her name was something like… Something like Charlemagne.
Barnard girl: You mean Chante?
Middle-aged woman: I was close! I was close!
Barnard girl: Yeah, I think Charlemagne was someone completely different.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Miss Bonaparte
He’s All, “Mommy! Mommy!”
Girl #1: You know that guy who always follows me around?
Girl #2: Yeah!
Girl #3: I wish I knew his name.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Could it be Mulva?
