Archive for the ‘National Security’ Category

Re­mem­ber That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I wait­ed an hour for you to show up! Were you on a cof­fee break or what?
Bus dri­ver: Sir, that’s not pos­si­ble, the lead bus was on­ly ten min­utes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the de­pot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the re­al ter­ror­ists! You’re what Home­land Se­cu­ri­ty is try­ing to pro­tect us against!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry Ter­mi­nal, Stat­en Is­land

Did You, Like, Miss a Meet­ing?

Man in near­ly emp­ty train: There’s an un­claimed bag back there on a seat.
Con­duc­tor: Huh?
Man: There’s a bag back there that no one is claim­ing, and I thought you should know.
Con­duc­tor: No… I think it must be­long to some­body.

–Harlem line, Metro-North

Over­heard by: get­ting off the next stop

To­tal­ly Worth It If You Want to As­cend to a High­er Plane

Busi­ness­woman #1: So I had to go in this lit­tle booth, and it has these tiny holes that shoot air at you! And I was like “What on earth is this for?” and the se­cu­ri­ty guy said “Oh, it’s so we can get a sense of your au­ra.” I mean re­al­ly, they don’t let you get on a plane if your au­ra is bad?
Busi­ness­woman #2: Wow, I guess so. Air­port se­cu­ri­ty is get­ting re­al­ly tight these days.
Busi­ness­woman #1: Se­ri­ous­ly.

–50th & 7th

Over­heard by: Arielle

The Man­age­ment Will Ad­dress Your Con­cerns on Feb­ru­ary 30th

Preach­er woman: They say, if you see some­thing, say some­thing — if you see a sus­pi­cious pack­age, say some­thing! Well, Hell is a sus­pi­cious pack­age!
Com­muter: Since it’s about a hun­dred and forty de­grees down here, I’d say this was Hell. Who can I speak to about it?

–2/3 sta­tion, Ful­ton St

Over­heard by: Karen Maria