Archive for the ‘National Security’ Category

Sara Lee Joins the War on Terror

Girl: Hey, where’s my bag? Why hasn’t my bag come through the machine? My other one did; did you have to rescan it or something?
TSA guy: Oh, don’t worry. that’s because we’re keeping it in a 350 degree oven to get it warm and fluffy and then we’re going to toast it to a nice golden brown.
Girl: What?

–JFK

Overheard by: bre

Remember That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Wednesday One-liners, I’m Your Father

Father: Oh, you mean hummus. Hamas is a terrorist organization.

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Daniel Radosh

Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD.

–Windsor Terrace

Overheard by: LaurenG

Dad: Now don’t go getting lost again. It cost me a lot of money to get you back last time.

–Bronx Zoo

Father: It was because of nuclear proliferation. All the dinosaurs shot nukes at each other.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: JB

Man: The last time a bird pooped on me I met your mother.

–Central Park Zoo