Hipster boy to girl: After the internet age and the digital age, we are now entering the cyborg age.
Hipster girl to boy: Yeah, cyborgs are totally mainstream now. I saw a special on Fox News all about cyborgs and it was totally mainstream.
Hipster boy to girl: My brother has an insulin pump.
–F Train Platform
Overheard by: sadie
Guy #1: Dude, did you hear? Another helicopter crashed into the East River.
Guy #2: Man, that would suck. The East River is just dirty and nasty.
Guy #1: Shit yeah. It’s full of floatin’ helicopters.
–2 train
Announcer dude: People, get the Audio Guide! If you don’t you’ll end up up there thinking, ‘I should have listened to that handsome, well-spoken man downstairs.’ You’ll be beating yourself for not buying the Audio Guide. And I don’t need that on my conscience.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: George Carstocea
Daily News hawker: Sign up here for your free subscription to the Daily News! [Muttering] We’ll screw you later.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Mrs. Met
Guy selling comedy show tickets: Come on, have a ticket. If you don’t I’ll stalk you on your MySpace page!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Punkgrrl
Top of the Rock promoter guy: Yeah, it’s supposed to be, like, the best view or whatever of, uh, I don’t know… [Calls to fellow promoter] Yo, man, you ever been up there?
–Rockefeller Center
Flyer dude: See the naked cowboy on stage! Sucking cock!
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ashley
Guy selling newspapers: New York Post here! Daily News here! [He’s ignored.] New York Post here! Daily News! [Still ignored.] George Bush wins the lottery! [Still ignored.]
–33rd & 7th
Comedy club promoter: People, you gotta come tonight, because if you don’t my boss is gonna kill me! I work for the mafia!
–Times Square
[On Ash Wednesday]Female pastor: Come get ashy for Jesus, no credit, bad credit, God don’t care. Come get your blessing! Free Jesus with all ash.
Daily newspaper hawker: Daily News, 50 cents, Jesus for free!
–Fordham Rd & Jerome Ave
Cab driver: Jersey, Jersey! What are you doing in New York? Do we go to Jersey? No!…unless we have to go to the Great Adventure.
–Taxi, 23rd & 7th
NY Post guy: Extra! Extra! Read all about it…Charlie Tuna, he’s dead! The Gorton’s Fisherman, he died too. Read it all today!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Allison
Barker: Tonight only! Special deal! A free game for White people! All Caucasians, one free game!
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Drew
Black guy: ’bout time y’all write tickets downtown. I thought y’all only did that shit up in Harlem!
–4th & Bowery
Overheard by: Emily McCombs
Cabbie: …and those Asians, they are the worst of all. They can’t see. They have no peripheral vision. They’ve got rice in their eyes!
–Taxi, Sullivan Street
Queer eye: Lindsay Lohan wore this dress on the cover of Teen Vogue; ever since then, it’s been like…crack cocaine.
–Marc Jacobs, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Mat Triebner
Guy: God, Elizabeth Smart is hot.
Girl: I know! She makes me want to rape.
Guy: ME TOO! We should find her!
Girl: Wasn’t she found?
Guy: Yeah, but I mean find her to abduct her again.
Girl: I’m a raper, not a kidnapper.
Guy: Fine, I’ll kidnap her and we can take turns with the rape.
–Flatiron District
Overheard by: Jeff
NYU girl #1: What the hell is the professor talking about? We can’t use the internet to do research?
NYU girl #2: She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
NYU girl #1: I mean, an article in The New York Times is totally an academic resource, even if I look at it on their web page. Does she think The New York Times isn’t right?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, fuck her!
NYU girl #1: I also cited the bible in my paper, but that’s totally an academic source.
–Waverly Place
College student with Boston accent: Yeah, I was reading this article in like Newsweek or something, that ranked the states from smartest to dumbest. Massachusetts was in the top ten.
College student with Miami accent: What about Florida?
College student with Boston accent: Florida was like, 47.
College student with Miami accent: Out of how many?
–NYU
Overheard by: Still Laughing
Girl to guy holding paper with Haiti headline: Oh my god! That is so ironic, coz yesterday, it was like, Sara’s birthday… and she’s totally Haitian.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dana
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
