Archive for the ‘News’ Category

This Is Plan: B, Plan: A Was (Tilts Head Toward Aluminum Garbage Can)

Young-looking 40-something: So, I've got some big news for you all…
Mother: Oh? Really?
Young-looking 40 something: We're adding a new member to the family!
Mother: You're pregnant?!
Young-looking 40-something: No, my daughter is. (tilts head towards teenage daughter)

–Cafeteria, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Headline by: Ryan

Runners-Up:
· “But, Okay, Yes, I Am Too” – Chuckles
· “Just Like Mom Used to Make ’em” – Slater
· “So You DIDN’T Just Save 15% on Car Insurance?” – benj
· “You Know It’s Time to Run for Vice-President When…” – Morning Glory

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

So You Know His Father Was No Help

Older Puerto Rican woman: Did you hear about the story of the Dominican woman who locked up her son for 25 years?
(disinterested friend shakes head)
Older Puerto Rican woman: He was gorgeous… beautiful. You know who he looked like?
Disinterested friend: Who?
Older Puerto Rican woman: Jesus Christ!

–106th St & 3rd Ave