Archive for the ‘Nipples’ Category

Ja­son Was a Fi­nal-Round Draft Pick for the Oth­er Team

Dude: So I fi­nal­ly saw Lisa’s* tits. Good stuff, man.
Friend: Yeah? Are they big?
Dude: Not at all. But it’s bet­ter that way. A hand­ful is enough.
Friend: So it’s like nuts?
Dude: What the fuck?
Friend: No! I mean they say a hand­ful of nuts is enough pro­tein for the day! That came out to­tal­ly wrong!
Dude: What­ev­er you say…Tinkerbell.

–67th & Colum­bus

Ni­na Was Hap­py ’til Pin­ta and San­ta Maria Sailed In­to the Par­ty

Guy: Where did every­one go?
Girl: They’re all in the bed­room look­ing at Ni­na’s breasts.
Guy: Again? Well, I guess it’s not re­al­ly a par­ty un­til Ni­na’s boobs make an ap­pear­ance.
Loud girl’s voice from bed­room: Oh my god, Ni­na, your nip­ples are per­fect!

–East Vil­lage

Are Your Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Tin­gling?

Pro­fes­sor: So, let’s re­turn to the top­ic of male nip­ples for a mo­ment.

–Sopho­more sem­i­nar, Bard High School Ear­ly Col­lege

JAP on cell: … So I picked up and was like, ‘Hel­lo?’ and she was all, ‘Come on, we’re go­ing to get our nip­ples pierced.’ And I was like, ‘Oh. Um, okay.’

–49th & 7th

Bik­er chick: You don’t un­der­stand! You don’t un­der­stand that I can’t feel my nip­ples right now!

–St. Mark’s & 3rd

Over­heard by: Gem­ma

Tough guy to an­oth­er: We all bang. We love each oth­er. So what if I pinched your nip­ples?! What’s the big deal? I pinched your nip­ples!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Jim Con­roy

Girl on cell: At the gallery, a woman of­fered me her nip­ple cov­ers. She was like, ‘Hey, do you want my nip­ple cov­ers?’ … Yeah, it’s been that kind of day.

–Stuyvesant Town

Un­less They’re in This Week

Sober chick: Hey, c’­mon, let’s go in­side. It’s cold out here.
Tip­sy chick: Okay… [Clos­es shirt.] Tell me if you see a nip­ple, ’cause that would just be awk­ward.
Sober chick: Of course.

–Spring & Eliz­a­beth

Over­heard by: Wear A Bra