Archive for the ‘Nipples’ Category

It Makes Me Horny. You Would­n’t Like Me When I’m Horny

Straight girl: Oooohhh, you know who has the best tits? Is­abel­la Rosselli­ni. Great, great tits.
Gay guy: Oh, you’re right! I did­n’t even think of her.
Straight girl: I don’t know how some­one her age can have tits that great.
Gay guy: Yeah, if your tits are half that good when you turn her age, you should die a hap­py woman.
Les­bian: Dear god, why are we talk­ing about Is­abel­la Rossellini’s tits on the sub­way? For that mat­ter, why are we talk­ing about them any­where?!

–N Train

Wednes­days Ro­gaine Their One-Lin­ers

Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuck­able hair! Fuck­able hair!

–As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Bruce Lee

Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?

–52nd St & 6th Ave

Ghet­to woman to an­oth­er: Why he be moon­ing every­one with that hairy ass?

–53rd & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: tom­my a

Man to friend: I’m Mex­i­can, man; I was *born* with a mus­tache.

–Grand & Or­chard

Girl, enun­cia­tive­ly: I sup­port chest hair!

–Hel­l’s Kitchen

Over­heard by: DI

Good Thing Grand­ma’s in a Co­ma or She’d Nev­er Get a Boyfriend!

Girl #1: I just want­ed to scream at her to put on a god­damn bra and shave her fuck­ing armpits!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I know. I mean, it’s not like she has much there… But it’s some­thing and you got­ta cov­er those pup­pies up.

–Green­wich Vil­lage

Head­line by: RaRa

Run­ners-Up:
· “And the Way She Was Hold­ing Ba­by Jesus–ROTFL” — ddv
· “I Mean, You’d Think She’d WANT to Look Good at Her Own Com­mu­nion!” — RaRa
· “Joan and Melis­sa Rivers’ Com­men­tary at the Bronx Zoo” — al­li­son
· “Or Car­ry Them in a Bag Like a Celebri­ty” — An­drew
· “Where Have All the Paula Cole’s Gone?” — chub­ba
· “Yeah, But Jagged Lit­tle Pill Was Such a Great Al­bum” — blis­tex­ad­dict
· “You’d Think by the Age Of 8, She’d Get That!” — MalG

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test