Archive for the ‘Nose Job’ Category

Have You Seen Wednes­day? It’s To­tal­ly Had Its One-Lin­ers Done.

Woman on cell: I can’t be­lieve no one said any­thing… How could no one no­tice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this mon­ey to get my nose fixed, and no one says any­thing?

–Nor­folk & Hous­ton

50-year-old la­dy: So are you still down for the Brazil­ian wax?

–45th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Chuch

Lit­tle girl, point­ing at some­one hav­ing their eye­brows thread­ed: Look! They’re sewing that wom­an’s face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: ken­zi

Or­ange la­dy: Is it like you def­i­nite­ly, for sure get can­cer from a tan­ning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Alex­is

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers! They’re Just Like Us!

Creepy dad, cheer­ful­ly, to sev­en-year-old daugh­ter: There’s on­ly one Lind­say Lo­han!

–Down­town 1 train

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Jew­ish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done peo­ple tell me I look like Amy Wine­house?

–116th St & Broad­way

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in par­tic­u­lar: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Over­heard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larg­er re­porter: I’m not go­ing to save clothes that fit me be­fore I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I’m go­ing to buy some new damn clothes. I don’t want to wear stuff from 1987. I’ll look stu­pid, I’ll look like Mis­cha Bar­ton.

–Mid­town Of­fice

Over­heard by: you wont be mis­cha’s size

Hip­ster girl to friend: I mean, I re­al­ly like him… But he thinks Riv­er Phoenix is a place.

–East Vil­lage

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: Cha-ching!

Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the mon­ey? Where’s the fuckin’ mon­ey?

–47th & 5th

Over­heard by: Adam Bertoc­ci

Ghet­to kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play foot­ball? …Right, right, so just when you tack­le them, put your hand in their pock­ets and take their mon­ey!

–M14 bus

Hobo: God, la­dy, I’m not ask­ing for a mil­lion dol­lars; I’m just ask­ing for some change!

–14th be­tween 5th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: theN­Jl

Bik­er dude: She’s a shrink and a psy­chi­a­trist, so you know she’s rollin’ in mon­ey.

–Star­bucks, 27th & Park

Over­heard by: Brawny McBrawn­er­son