Archive for the ‘NYC Geography’ Category

She Got an MFA in Stripping

Girlfriend: Hey, there’s a Juilliard School in New York? I didn’t know that! There’s a Juilliard in Boston. It’s a music school.
Boyfriend: I don’t think there’s a Juilliard in Boston.
Girlfriend: Yes, there is! I went to it! The New York one must be, like, a branch of the Boston one. Like Penn State in New York or Ohio, or whatever.

–A train, 168th St

Overheard by: Girl in Juilliard T-Shirt

Where in the World are Wednesday One-Liners?

Tourist: Is this 49th Street? Oh no, I think we’re at Times Square!

–Uptown R Train at Union Square

Overheard by: Limey

Lady on cell: I’m on the corner by the trash can and the lamp.

–Union Square

Man on cell: Wait, I’m on 4th and Broadway…Hey wait, are you me? Who are you?

–4th and Broadway

Guy on cell: Ey! Eeeey! What, like you can’t SEE me? I’m up heeeeh, waving my arms like an ingrate!

–Shea Stadium, upper deck

Overheard by: Infield Fly

Guy on cell: Yeah I’m here in the NYU park. We are gonna talk about feng shui. Not your feng shui, my feng shui.

–washington square park

Overheard by: ak

Guy on cell: I can see a big building, can you see a big building where you are?

–University and 8th Street

Wherever Wednesday One-Liners Go, There They Are

Man on cell: I’m at the bad Duane Reade right now… Yeah, the one on 14th street…I know that’s the good one, but it’s in danger zone.

–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd

Overheard by: not in danger zone

Girl on cell: I’m in like the Middle East somewhere… Where are you?

–56th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: dnuggets

Hipster on cell: No, I swear to god I am not in Montreal!

–Outside Alligator Lounge, Williamsburg

Overheard by: miles

Lady yelling into pay phone, by platform: I’m in Yonkers! I’m right by the train!

–W 242 & Broadway, Bronx

Overheard by: Krisztina

Harried guy in suit on his cell: Yeah well, I’m at the Port Authority…I hear this is where the buses leave from.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: JoBell

Screaming man on pay phone: Yo -I told yo ass to meet me on 33rd and 5th. I be standin’ here and you ain’t here. [Pause.] What the fuck do you mean!? I be on da corner waiting for yo ass for the past fifty minutes. I only get an hour for lunch. Now you gone and messed up my day cuz yo ass ain’t show up. [Pauses, speaks more calmly.] I’m on da corner of 33rd and 5th. [Screaming again.] Don’t tell me yo ain’t see me! I’m standing right here!

–35th & Madison

They're Essentially Running Around Barefoot, Rubbing Sticks Together for Fire

Curly teen: Did you see that guy with tattoos all over his face? Do you think he's allowed above 14th Street?
Brunette teen: I think he can get to 23rd without too much damage.
Curly teen: No way, Chelsea is too classy to handle that.
Brunette teen: Not really. They did just open up a Chipotle.

–Union Square

That Makes 14th Street the Mason-Dixon

Girl: I’m going to have a boring weekend. I’m not really doing anything except one of my friends is guest bartending at this bar Coda on 34th street so I’m going to that.
Guy #1: I think I’ve been there.
Guy #2: Is that on the North or South side?
Girl: Oh I haven’t lived in New York to learn the New York lingo.
Guy #2: Well, there’s a North side and a South side of the street.

–43rd & 5th

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