Student #1: I think your booty is just so bodacious it, like, breaks your pants.
Student #2: Haha, yeah…
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category
Wait, So Where Are We, Again?
Chick #1: Which one of these countries does not border Argentina? Brazil, Uruguay, Peru, or Bolivia?
Chick #2: Peru, duh.
Chick #3: Obviously. [Makes note on paper, reading aloud] Peru, Europe.
Chick #2: Peru’s not in Europe, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, because all the other countries are in South America, the reason Peru isn’t connected is because it’s in Europe!
–NYU
That “Stacy’s Mom” Video Ruined My Whole Generation
Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?“
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You’re right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother’s breasts!
–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU
Overheard by: I know I would
Worst Bat Mitzvah Ever
Girl #1: Stuart kissed me full on the mouth.
Girl #2: Did he mean it?
Girl #1: He said it was an accident; he was going for my cheek.
Girl #2: That happened to me once when I was kissing my father.
–St. Marks Place
A Kappa and the Bee
Sorority girl #1 texting on cell: I hate how words can sometimes spell other words.
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, I know.
–NYU
With This Ring, I Thee Wednesday One-Liner
Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to marry me and you hesitated. You hesitated!
–Grand Central Terminal
Acting professor: Act as if you’re fascinated by what they’re saying, while thinking about something else. That’s what boys learn to do when they get married.
–NYU
Overheard by: Lisa
Man, advising another flirting with hot woman: You gotta go for it–unless she’s married!
–2 Train
Five-year-old boy to another: Yeah, well… I’ll let you marry my daughter!
–10th St & University
Overheard by: Ricky
Man to male friend: So basically, I took her to a gay bar on our wedding night.
–Central Park
Chick to guy: Are we *seriously* arguing about whether or not aunt Jemima would support gay marriage?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ladle
What? I Thought This Was a Safe Space.
Female art student: I love people who fit into a stereotype!
Flamingly gay art student: I like being racist.
Female art student: What?!
–NYU
Isn’t That, Like, Spanish or Something?
College student #1: Yeah, it was in Brooklyn. I had to take, like, the L. I’ve never even heard of that!
College student #2: The L? Wow!
–NYU
I Haven’t Felt That Way Since Dorothy Threw the Bucket on Me
Professor, after student coughs: Yes. Yes. I’m just getting over my cold. You saw me! In the theater, I was a row ahead of you!
Student: Yeah…
Professor, with infinite sadness: I had a coughing fit. I…I just…melted. I melted.
–NYU
You’ve Been Waiting for an Excuse to Use That One, Haven’t You?
NYU girl: I’m not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she’s been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she’s a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.
–NYU Silver Center
