Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Get Schooled

Pro­fes­sor: So what do we know about these debt notes?” (si­lence) So what do *I* know about these debt notes, that ob­vi­ous­ly you don’t know?

–NYU Law School

Over­heard by: Ames

Pro­fes­sor: My fa­vorite words to hear are “just do noth­ing.” My sec­ond fa­vorites are “open bar.”

–Col­lege of Mount Saint Vin­cent, Bronx

En­vi­ron­men­tal his­to­ry pro­fes­sor: Look at some of the items on this menu from a ho­tel of Chica­go Thanks­giv­ing din­ner from 1872: loin of buf­fa­lo, an­te­lope steak in mush­room sauce, ham of bear, black tail deer, leg of moun­tain sheep, buf­fa­lo tongue… Miss Palin, your ta­ble is ready.

–Class­room, Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Mar­tin Van Nos­trand

Lin­guis­tics pro­fes­sor, about Span­ish-speak­ing fam­i­lies who live in Span­ish-speak­ing neigh­bor­hoods: The on­ly Eng­lish these peo­ple hear is from their land­lords and so­cial work­ers.

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Lat­ka Hero

NYU pro­fes­sor: So we’re go­ing to be walk­ing, and you’ll no­tice I walk pret­ty fast. But we’re in New York, and you’re sup­posed to walk like you know ex­act­ly where you’re go­ing in life and noth­ing is in your way. Be­cause if you slow down you’ll get mugged. (beat) It’s dog eat dog, peo­ple.

–NYU Class­room

Russ­ian lit­er­a­ture pro­fes­sor: Oh my god, you just to­tal­ly missed the point of Je­sus!

–NYU Class­room

What is Hard­core? (NYC Short Sto­ries)

Girl: Wow, last night I was so drunk. I can’t be­lieve that I got so
wast­ed off on­ly a pint of gin. In first year I could drink like twice that amount and par­ty all night.
Guy: So you were hard­core then?
Girl: Naw, I was­n’t hard­core, I was just an id­iot.

–NYU A bus

Guy: Have you ever drank the worm?
Girl: Oh, hell yeah. And that’s hard­core ’cause I’m a veg­e­tar­i­an.

–Mc­Cabe’s Liquor Store, 3rd Av­enue

…In the 1800s

Girl: Oh my god, I just found out that my high school dra­ma teacher has been sleep­ing with the kid who’s the star in all of the shows.
Boy: Shit!
Girl: Yeah, I heard they’re both in jail now or some­thing.
Boy: That’s like the time that fam­i­ly in my town had those slaves.

–Crowd­ed El­e­va­tor, NYU

Over­heard by: con­fused

Wait, So Where Are We, Again?

Chick #1: Which one of these coun­tries does not bor­der Ar­genti­na? Brazil, Uruguay, Pe­ru, or Bo­livia?
Chick #2: Pe­ru, duh.
Chick #3: Ob­vi­ous­ly. [Makes note on pa­per, read­ing aloud] Pe­ru, Eu­rope.
Chick #2: Pe­ru’s not in Eu­rope, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, be­cause all the oth­er coun­tries are in South Amer­i­ca, the rea­son Pe­ru is­n’t con­nect­ed is be­cause it’s in Eu­rope!

–NYU