Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category

Wait, So Where Are We, Again?

Chick #1: Which one of these coun­tries does not bor­der Ar­genti­na? Brazil, Uruguay, Pe­ru, or Bo­livia?
Chick #2: Pe­ru, duh.
Chick #3: Ob­vi­ous­ly. [Makes note on pa­per, read­ing aloud] Pe­ru, Eu­rope.
Chick #2: Pe­ru’s not in Eu­rope, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, be­cause all the oth­er coun­tries are in South Amer­i­ca, the rea­son Pe­ru is­n’t con­nect­ed is be­cause it’s in Eu­rope!

–NYU

With This Ring, I Thee Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to mar­ry me and you hes­i­tat­ed. You hes­i­tat­ed!

–Grand Cen­tral Ter­mi­nal

Act­ing pro­fes­sor: Act as if you’re fas­ci­nat­ed by what they’re say­ing, while think­ing about some­thing else. That’s what boys learn to do when they get mar­ried.

–NYU

Over­heard by: Lisa

Man, ad­vis­ing an­oth­er flirt­ing with hot woman: You got­ta go for it–unless she’s mar­ried!

–2 Train

Five-year-old boy to an­oth­er: Yeah, well… I’ll let you mar­ry my daugh­ter!

–10th St & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Ricky

Man to male friend: So ba­si­cal­ly, I took her to a gay bar on our wed­ding night.

–Cen­tral Park

Chick to guy: Are we *se­ri­ous­ly* ar­gu­ing about whether or not aunt Jemi­ma would sup­port gay mar­riage?

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: La­dle

You’ve Been Wait­ing for an Ex­cuse to Use That One, Haven’t You?

NYU girl: I’m not sur­prised that she has mono. I mean, she’s been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she’s a re­verse juke­box.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put mon­ey in­to a juke­box and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter