Student: What’s your name?
Professor: Doesn’t matter. Someday we will all be famous and anonymous.
–NYU
Overheard by: teaching the future of america
Archive for the ‘NYU’ Category
Then Who Was I Teaching on Sunday?
Professor: Have a good weekend! [Pause] What day is today?
Students: Monday.
Professor: Shit!
–NYU
…Actually, I Have No Idea What You’re Trying to Say
NYU girl #1: I mean, and she was like, and I was like, and like…
NYU girl #2: Yeah…
–Coles Gym, NYU
Overheard by: Currer Bell
Wednesday One-Liners Get Schooled
Professor: So what do we know about these debt notes?” (silence) So what do *I* know about these debt notes, that obviously you don’t know?
–NYU Law School
Overheard by: Ames
Professor: My favorite words to hear are “just do nothing.” My second favorites are “open bar.”
–College of Mount Saint Vincent, Bronx
Environmental history professor: Look at some of the items on this menu from a hotel of Chicago Thanksgiving dinner from 1872: loin of buffalo, antelope steak in mushroom sauce, ham of bear, black tail deer, leg of mountain sheep, buffalo tongue… Miss Palin, your table is ready.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Linguistics professor, about Spanish-speaking families who live in Spanish-speaking neighborhoods: The only English these people hear is from their landlords and social workers.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Latka Hero
NYU professor: So we’re going to be walking, and you’ll notice I walk pretty fast. But we’re in New York, and you’re supposed to walk like you know exactly where you’re going in life and nothing is in your way. Because if you slow down you’ll get mugged. (beat) It’s dog eat dog, people.
–NYU Classroom
Russian literature professor: Oh my god, you just totally missed the point of Jesus!
–NYU Classroom
…But I Know That an Apple a Day Brings the Doctor to You.
Girl #1: If Rome was built in a day, I can definitely build a website in one day also…
Girl #2: The saying is “Rome wasn’t built in a day.“
Girl #1: Are you sure? That kinda ruins my logic.
–NYU
What is Hardcore? (NYC Short Stories)
Girl: Wow, last night I was so drunk. I can’t believe that I got so
wasted off only a pint of gin. In first year I could drink like twice that amount and party all night.
Guy: So you were hardcore then?
Girl: Naw, I wasn’t hardcore, I was just an idiot.
–NYU A bus
Guy: Have you ever drank the worm?
Girl: Oh, hell yeah. And that’s hardcore ’cause I’m a vegetarian.
–McCabe’s Liquor Store, 3rd Avenue
…In the 1800s
Girl: Oh my god, I just found out that my high school drama teacher has been sleeping with the kid who’s the star in all of the shows.
Boy: Shit!
Girl: Yeah, I heard they’re both in jail now or something.
Boy: That’s like the time that family in my town had those slaves.
–Crowded Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: confused
Why Pepper Spray Was Invented.
Guy: In my brain, I want to cause you pain. I don’t want to scare you, but I’m a lot bigger and stronger than you are.
Girl: Yeah, I don’t think I can take you in a fight.
–NYU Library
You Might Want to Look into Larger Pants
Student #1: I think your booty is just so bodacious it, like, breaks your pants.
Student #2: Haha, yeah…
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Wait, So Where Are We, Again?
Chick #1: Which one of these countries does not border Argentina? Brazil, Uruguay, Peru, or Bolivia?
Chick #2: Peru, duh.
Chick #3: Obviously. [Makes note on paper, reading aloud] Peru, Europe.
Chick #2: Peru’s not in Europe, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, because all the other countries are in South America, the reason Peru isn’t connected is because it’s in Europe!
–NYU
