Archive for the ‘Office’ Category

And Cor­re­late Them to Mar­ket Trends, Will You?

Fe­male trad­er: Oh my god, I’ve been so busy late­ly.
Ea­ger new hire: Is there any­thing I can help you with?
Fe­male trad­er: Well, I’ve ac­tu­al­ly been too busy to read ABC blog* and XYZ blog* to­day. If you could write me up a sum­ma­ry, that would be great.
Ea­ger new hire: Uh, sure.

–Trad­ing Floor

Over­heard by: Pa­ge­Six­is­Bet­ter

Don’t Hate the Wednes­day One-Lin­er, Hate the Game

(a pi­geon flies up to a ram­bling bike mes­sen­ger)
Bike mes­sen­ger: Hey, bird. Whad­da ya say? How you do­ing? You play base­ball? What po­si­tion? First base? Third? Catch­er?

–47th & Madi­son

Ditzy teen on cell: Why can’t they, like, have two foot­balls in­stead so both teams could score?

–Doc­tor’s Of­fice, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Robert Gley­ber­man

Pro­fes­sor: Did I tell you guys I’m get­ting in­to pro­fes­sion­al wrestling?

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Did­n’t want the de­tails

Guy to an­oth­er, scream­ing at the top of his lungs: It’s fuck­ing field hock­ey! It’s a girl’s sport! Why are you even on the team?! You make me sick!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Scott Ju­rkows­ki

Train con­duc­tor, an­nounc­ing stop: Wil­lets point, Shea Stadium…home of that *oth­er* team.

–Wil­lets Point, Queens

Over­heard by: Ran­dom Asian Chick