Archive for the ‘Office’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers! They’re Just Like Us!

Creepy dad, cheer­ful­ly, to sev­en-year-old daugh­ter: There’s on­ly one Lind­say Lo­han!

–Down­town 1 train

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Jew­ish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done peo­ple tell me I look like Amy Wine­house?

–116th St & Broad­way

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in par­tic­u­lar: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Over­heard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larg­er re­porter: I’m not go­ing to save clothes that fit me be­fore I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I’m go­ing to buy some new damn clothes. I don’t want to wear stuff from 1987. I’ll look stu­pid, I’ll look like Mis­cha Bar­ton.

–Mid­town Of­fice

Over­heard by: you wont be mis­cha’s size

Hip­ster girl to friend: I mean, I re­al­ly like him… But he thinks Riv­er Phoenix is a place.

–East Vil­lage

And Cor­re­late Them to Mar­ket Trends, Will You?

Fe­male trad­er: Oh my god, I’ve been so busy late­ly.
Ea­ger new hire: Is there any­thing I can help you with?
Fe­male trad­er: Well, I’ve ac­tu­al­ly been too busy to read ABC blog* and XYZ blog* to­day. If you could write me up a sum­ma­ry, that would be great.
Ea­ger new hire: Uh, sure.

–Trad­ing Floor

Over­heard by: Pa­ge­Six­is­Bet­ter