Archive for the ‘Old People’ Category

Grizzlies: ‘No, Really, We’re Good, Couldn’t Eat Another Bite, Thanks!’

Older woman: When I die, I’m going to be fed to the grizzlies.
Younger woman: What?
Older woman: I want my hands and feet cremated and put into St John’s Cathedral, and the rest of me I want made into steaks and fed to an endangered species. It’s not enough anymore to just give them money. You have to give them part of yourself.

–South End Ave

Overheard by: lino & wyja

Non-Recyclable Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.

–LIRR

New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.

–40th & 6th

Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That's called "Eurotrash."

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Andy

Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.

–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jess

Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)

–W 19th