Thug on cell, after helping an old women with a walker out of the doorway: Yeah, man, you know me. Slashing tires and rapin’ women, that’s what I’m all about. –Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: InnocentlyEvil
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.
Old man: Well, it’s colder out there than a mother-in-law’s kiss. –Snack Taverna, Bedford St. Overheard by: Aria Sloss
Old woman, putting stamps on envelope: I wish they would change the picture on these…
Middle aged woman: Frank Sinatra?
Old woman: Oh god, not that creep! –Post Office, Stuyvesant Overheard by: flat rate box
Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop! –6 train
Teenage girl: So I'm getting better at hooking up with guys and not getting attached! I hooked up with Jake last week, and I don't feel anything at all!
Friend: Yeah, but that's not hard. He's, like, impossible to get attached to. We need to find you a challenge. Who's really cute and cuddly?
Random old man walking in front of them: Pick me, pick me! –Port Authority Bus Terminal Overheard by: cute and cuddly
Elevator operator: What floor, please?
Old lady: Home, James. –Metropolitan Museum of Art
Dirty old hobo to passing tourist girl: Mmm, mmm, mmm… I could eat for three days off your fat pussy.
Tourist girl: I'm not fat!
Dirty old hobo: No, but your pussy sure is.
Tourist girl, rushing away: I'm gonna cry. –Soho
Older man: I'm really excited for Michelle.
Older woman: I'm really worried for Michelle. –Willets Point Overheard by: TCS
Very old woman (to hobo): …I already told you! If I had any money, you think I’d be walking out here in this? –2nd Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: garrett