Archive for the ‘Old People’ Category

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

Every Hunter Longs to Become the Hunted

Teenage girl: So I'm getting better at hooking up with guys and not getting attached! I hooked up with Jake last week, and I don't feel anything at all!
Friend: Yeah, but that's not hard. He's, like, impossible to get attached to. We need to find you a challenge. Who's really cute and cuddly?
Random old man walking in front of them: Pick me, pick me! –Port Authority Bus Terminal Overheard by: cute and cuddly