Archive for the ‘On the Bus’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Are Dead

Girl: Oh my gosh! You know what would be awesome? If lightning struck you, and you like got a permanent tan.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Glynnis 

Woman: These invitations are really important! I mean, not only am I turning 40, but it’s a year to the day that I almost died!

–Staples, Union Square

Little girl: Hey Mom, there are dead people here too!

–X1 bus

Irish guy: Oh, what people don’t realize is that the Indians are
everywhere. They’re sprinkled around everywhere.

–First Prince Copy Center, Prince Street

Make Womb for Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on phone: I don’t think she knows. (pause) But it’s just a night job! (pause) No, there’s no way I’m pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I’m a man, goddammit!

–Starbucks

Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?

–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road

Overheard by: Erica S

Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat!

–M100 Bus

Overheard by: Tinathetiny

Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.

–Prince & Broadway

Overheard by: Ken Paprocki

Because Obama Totally Seems Like the Type Of Guy Who Listens to Rap

Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don’t they know this is a free fuckin’ country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I’m tellin you, now that Obama’s elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck’s up.

–Q63 Bus

Overheard by: filemeunder