Archive for the ‘On the Subway’ Category

CIA: Hmmm…

Grandson: I wanna watch that show Chuck — about the spy.
Grandma: Cluck? It’s called ‘Cluck’?
Grandson: Chuck. He’s a spy.
Grandma: Cluck? Like a chicken?
Grandson: Grandma, you’re stupid.
Grandma: I just don’t think a chicken would make a good spy. He’d always be clucking.
Grandson: He’s not a chicken, he’s a spy.
Grandma: But then again, no one expects a chicken… Damn chickens…

–L train

Wednesday One-liners Spell It “Aminals”

Next Stop: Put in Your Place Street

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.

–L train

Lady In Red

Woman (wearing red pants & with red fingernails): I just made the greatest discovery: if I always dress in red, then I will always match and always look good! I’m now in the middle of getting rid of all my old clothing and buying only red clothing.

— Subway