Male 9 to 5‑er: And, you know, they’re all dwarves… But I wouldn’t be embarrassed to go out with them.
Cigarette-voiced JAP: Yeah, he was lame. But I only fake-dated him in, like, eighth grade.
–54th & 11th
Hipster on cell: If you sleep together afterwards, it’s a date.
–Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Miss Heather
Thug: Yo, the rule is, if you take her out to dinner and a movie she has to suck your cock. That’s the rule.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Liza
Girl on cell: Look, Peter, I’m not saying that I hate you. It’s just that you fucking annoy me so much that I’d rather eat my own spleen than go out with you again.
–Starbucks, 45th & 6th
Overheard by: always turning up my IPOD
Girl on cell: No, she didn’t dump him on you. She dumped him and then he got on you.
Overheard by: Steve O