Archive for the ‘Only in New York’ Category

Confirmed: Biological Terrorism Hits New York

My guy friend and I stopped on the sidewalk to finish up a conversation and say goodbye. A man walks by and gave a hard shoulder nudge to my friend and kept walking. 

Guy friend: Yeah, excuse me!
Man: You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. You can’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk; people need to get by. 

An argument ensues, then the man walks away. He changes his mind, walks back and gets within inches of my friend’s face. 

Man: I have a cold and I’m going to talk right in your face! 

–Broadway & Fulton 

Overheard by: Jessie 

But He’s a Major Tourist Attraction

Manic tourist lady #1: Oh wow, the front of the train. I’ve never been in FRONT before. Look! Haha! No driver!
Manic tourist lady #2: No driver? Seriously? Excuse me, sir? Who’s driving this subway?

Local looks up from paper and looks around frantically.

Manic tourist #2: Wait, seriously? Oh my God, should we get off?
Manic tourist #1: Oh, calm down. He’s just joking. We can’t get off ’til Union Square.
Local: Ma’am, I swear to God that I’m not joking. Nobody’s driving this train. I’m just as terrified as you are.
Manic tourist #2: Oh, whatever. He’s one of those New York assholes we heard about. Ignore him.

–4 train, 59th St

Overheard by: got off too