Archive for the ‘Only in New York’ Category

The Gates Changed New York For­ev­er

El­der­ly woman: Ex­cuse me, do you know where 81st Street is? We’re try­ing to get to the high­est point in the park to see The Gates.

A NY­er points out the way. Af­ter she leaves, he says: I’m pret­ty sure I gave her the wrong di­rec­tions, but I think she’s high enough.

–The Ram­ble

Over­heard by: Nathan K. Claus

Guy: Man, this will re­al­ly put New York back on the map.

–The Gates

Suit: Ex­cuse me, I want­ed to ask you about your [big or­ange] wig. Are you ad­vo­cat­ing your sup­port for The Gates or are you com­ment­ing on how crazy and triv­ial they are?
Guy: Uh…what wig?

–The Gates

Over­heard by: Greg Rut­ter

Boy: Mom! Was that “art”?
Moth­er: No, Michael. That was laun­dry.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Darko Vraither

Old woman #1: Is­n’t it love­ly?
Old woman #2: Well, I would­n’t call it art, but I’m cer­tain­ly glad New York has some­thing to amuse it dur­ing the month of Feb­ru­ary.

–Mo­MA roof

Over­heard by: Michael Bra­cy

Where Else Can You Get Labia Jew­el­ry on the Street?

Man sell­ing glass­es on the street: Would you like a pierc­ing to­day?
Woman on phone: Hang on… What?
Man sell­ing glass­es: Would you like to get a pierc­ing to­day?
Woman: Would I like a…? No, I would not like to get a pierc­ing to­day. (back in­to phone) I love New York.

–St. Mark’s St

Over­heard by: Lo­gan

Many of Us Are Even at Jim’s Lev­el

Yup­pie mom #1: Can you be­lieve that there are peo­ple liv­ing in this city who make un­der two hun­dred thou­sand dol­lars?
Yup­pie mom #2: Re­al­ly?
Yup­pie mom #1: Yes, I’d nev­er do that. I would­n’t want to live like a Huck­le­ber­ry Finn.

The con­ver­sa­tion then got too low for me to hear af­ter they saw I was eaves­drop­ping and giv­ing them the evil eye.

–River­side Park

Non-Re­cy­clable Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Con­duc­tor: Please throw away your news­pa­pers and garbage in the trash cans on sta­tion plat­forms and know that the trash cans can on­ly hold two hu­man bod­ies at a time.

–LIRR

New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of pa­pers to passer­by) Thanks, broth­er. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.

–40th & 6th

Car­riage dri­ver to horse: You see that chest­nut? That’s called “Eu­ro­trash.”

–Cen­tral Park South

Over­heard by: Andy

Gi­ant old man to scream­ing and jump­ing chil­dren: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.

–Madi­son & Nos­trand, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: g

Con­duc­tor: Please place any­one who has be­come garbage en route in the ap­pro­pri­ate re­cep­ta­cle.

–R Train

Over­heard by: Jess

Woman walk­ing down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage non­cha­lant­ly, keeps walk­ing)

–W 19th

Scenes from the Strike

Suit: Where are you go­ing?
Guy: Why does it mat­ter to you? I nev­er got in some­one else’s cab be­fore.
Suit: How about an area: Mid­town, Down­town, West Side?
Guy: Maybe if you got in­to a cab on a down­town av­enue and not 2nd Av­enue, you would have your own cab.

–Cab, 75th & 2nd

Over­heard by: The front seat

When We Took Your Wal­let and Di­vid­ed It Up Amongst Us, for In­stance.

Drunk guy in full New Year re­galia: Well, I’m from fuckin’ Penn­syl­va­nia and I nev­er seen any­thing like this! This shit is fan­tas­tic! Woo!
Ir­ri­tat­ed sober woman: Re­al­ly? No one on this train had any idea you weren’t from New York!

–Up­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: Rose Fox