Archive for the ‘Orgy’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers En­joy Team Sports

20-some­thing guy on Black­Ber­ry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a five­some with him, but he’s not gay.

–L Train

Girl to gay friend af­ter walk­ing in­to gay bar: Dude, ei­ther find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.

–NYC

Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!

–8th St & 5th Ave

An­gry woman on phone: While you’re out hav­ing or­gies I am do­ing the re­al work!

–Vic­to­ri­an Flat­bush

Pre­ten­tious pro­fes­sor type in aca­d­e­m­ic tone: My ex had un­re­al­is­tic fan­tasies. She used to dream about be­ing fucked by God and Sa­tan and the same time. How could I live up to that?

–NYU

Cue Neil Di­a­mond

Cute but in­no­cent 20-some­thing: Guess where I’m go­ing tonight?
Old­er fe­male cowork­er: Oh, is tonight the night you’re go­ing out with the hock­ey team?
Cute but in­no­cent 20-some­thing: Yeah, I won a con­test! I’m go­ing to Pitts­burgh on a bus with the Is­landers.
Male cowork­er: And when you come back, you’ll be a woman.

–Star­bucks

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Fail the Pu­ri­ty Test

Girl: I’m done with three­somes. Some­one al­ways gets hurt. It’s four-gies on­ly from now on.

–Du­ane Reade, 32nd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Jaina Wald

Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Wa­ter

Over­heard by: Aubrie

Man: Hey, any­one want to go to an or­gy?

–Cen­tral Park

Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need con­doms?

–Phar­ma­cy, 82nd & Colum­bus

Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like any­one there had any re­al porn back­ground!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Na­tal­ie

Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broad­way

Loud fe­male suit: Well, at least he was­n’t sleep­ing with an in­tern!

–45th & Lex

Prep­py girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got my­self two tick­ets for us to go to the Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Do­mini­can cock. Yum!

–34th St

Over­heard by: naid­aba­by

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: “To­ga! To­ga! To­ga!”

60-some­thing white woman: They put on a good show. Those Je­suits re­al­ly know how to par­ty!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Jeff

Gay man to oth­ers, about par­ties: Yeah, I thought about go­ing to the black par­ty, but I’m not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Over­heard by: Not­tRob

Young woman: I’m twen­ty-sev­en. I’ve nev­er been to a par­ty, a sexy par­ty, where I don’t re­mem­ber who I’ve slept with.

–21st St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can’t. It’s my cous­in’s chi­huahua’s birth­day par­ty.

–28th St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: sounds like a rager

Wednes­day Pick-Up-Lin­ers

Guy, bump­ing in­to girl­friend as bus lurch­es: Sor­ry ba­by, that’s grav­i­ty. I can’t help it, I’m phys­i­cal­ly at­tract­ed to you.

–M116 Bus

Over­heard by: I hate the bus

Con­struc­tion work­er hit­ting on young girl: Hey ba­by, you are too cute to be so pret­ty!

–Allen & East Hous­ton

Black bag sell­er to passer­by: Hey sweet­heart, you wan­na buy a bag to­day? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my num­ber for free.

–33rd & Broad­way

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wres­tle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: year­book­ie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you could­n’t even holler at a woman cause she would­n’t an­swer you.

–South Williams­burg

Over­heard by: DanielXY

Home­less man to cute passer­by: Nice knees.

–Cen­tral Park

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have an Amaz­ing Abil­i­ty to Mul­ti­task

Woman: You wan­na have a gang bang? Then I’m not be­ing nice to­day.

–32nd & 6th

Ghet­to girl: While you was kiss­ing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Sta­tion

Woman on cell: What would I do with­out you? Who would archive my three­somes?

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Nip­ples McF­reaky

Cab­bie, af­ter four girls ex­it cab: Usu­al­ly when four white girls get in­to cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are go­ing to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madi­son

Over­heard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Lit­tle girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Am­trak out of Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Nip­ples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did every­thing to the brown-haired girl!

–Bed­ford Ave, be­tween N 3rd & N 4th

Over­heard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you would­n’t like them. They aren’t in­to or­gies.

–As­tor Place