Archive for the ‘Orgy’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have an Amaz­ing Abil­i­ty to Mul­ti­task

Woman: You wan­na have a gang bang? Then I’m not be­ing nice to­day.

–32nd & 6th

Ghet­to girl: While you was kiss­ing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Sta­tion

Woman on cell: What would I do with­out you? Who would archive my three­somes?

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Nip­ples McF­reaky

Cab­bie, af­ter four girls ex­it cab: Usu­al­ly when four white girls get in­to cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are go­ing to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madi­son

Over­heard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Lit­tle girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Am­trak out of Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Nip­ples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did every­thing to the brown-haired girl!

–Bed­ford Ave, be­tween N 3rd & N 4th

Over­heard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you would­n’t like them. They aren’t in­to or­gies.

–As­tor Place

At Least I Trust That It Was Mal­colm

Queer #1: What­ev­er, ho, you’re the one who had a three­some with like eight guys.
Queer #2: Don’t be say­ing that in front of com­pa­ny.
Queer #1: Who, Mal­colm? He’s not com­pa­ny any­more. He’s pen­e­trat­ed our in­ner cir­cle of trust.
Queer #2: How?
Queer #1: Be­cause he pen­e­trat­ed one of our in­ner cir­cles.

–17th & 8th

Over­heard by: Zo­la mae

You Can’t Spell Wednes­day One-lin­ers With­out TMI

Suit on cell: And your pe­nis is big­ger now?

–68th & Lex­ing­ton

Guy: I’m be­ing to­tal­ly hon­est, you guys…I pulled my groin play­ing ping pong.

–51st & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Mike Bar­ish

La­dy: Well, I don’t think he re­al­ized I was a hook­er!

–73rd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: San­dro Olivieri

Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pret­ty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it would­n’t go in. Are you lis­ten­ing to me? No, it would­n’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work.

–West Broad­way & Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Dar­by O’Gill

Mus­tache: I walked in and it was clear­ly a gang bang gone awry.

–Dive bar, 96th Street

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Hope You’re Not a Cop

Man on cell: Af­ter I dropped Ben­ny off at school I stopped by that harem.

–5th Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Nerd

Old bald guy look­ing at Asian call girl sec­tion in news­pa­per, on cell, speak­ing very slow­ly and very loud­ly: Do… You… Take… Veee-saaaah. Veee-saaaah. Veeee-saaaaah! Yes! Visa! No? Okay, thanks. [Same ex­act di­a­logue takes place three more times.] Bin­go!

–Mil­ford Ho­tel

Over­heard by: not an asian call girl

Guy: I’m a good Jew­ish son ‑I got 90% off on a hook­er!

–Cen­tral Park

Guy on cell: Man, I love hook­ers. My friend just told me about Craig’s list. Shit, there’s like 5,000 hook­ers on Craig’s list. I love that shit.

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: who knew?

Gui­do in leather jack­et, to suit: So did any­thing ever hap­pen with the whore?

–39th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: La­dle

Asian girl to friend: As long as I’m slut­ting my­self out, I might as well get paid for it!

–22nd & 9th

Over­heard by: Kate

They’re Like the Ocean– the Pres­sure’s Strongest on the Bot­tom

Girl: It’s so good to see you! I’m so glad you’re com­ing to the par­ty!
Guy #1: Me too! I’m ex­cit­ed.
Girl: But we should warn you–there’s a very good chance this could turn in­to an or­gy.
Guy #2: Not to put any pres­sure on you.
Guy #1: I mean, that’s awe­some. I’ve nev­er been to an or­gy be­fore.

–NJ Tran­sit

Over­heard by: Flus­tered Com­muter

Three­way One-Lin­ers

Sulky wait­ress at fam­i­ly restau­rant, com­plain­ing about man­age­ment: I could be home right now hav­ing a three­some, but Chris won’t let me leave.

–As­to­ria, Queens

Over­heard by: Inkling

35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Over­heard by: Ab­by and Hol­ly

20-some­thing col­lege boy: I mean, there’s no “I” in “three­some.”

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven’t de­cid­ed what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African Amer­i­can guy to hip­ster girl: It was the worst or­gy I’ve ever been to. Noth­ing but kids and clothes every­where you looked.

–48th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: RevLi­na, The Pain-Proof Girl