Archive for the ‘Overheard Overheard’ Category

Wan­na Buy a Bridge, Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brook­lyn fa­mous for its graf­fi­ti?

–Coney Is­land-bound D train

Over­heard by: BB

White guy, point­ing: Over there in Brook­lyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around!

–De­lancey & Es­sex

Over­heard by: Red Hair

Guy walk­ing through bar: What’s with Brook­lyn and beards?

–Union Hall, Park Slope

Over­heard by: ja­son­ja­son

Guy: Brook­lyn is the mid­dle bor­ough in terms of good­ness.

–Kosher De­light

Thugette to dou­ble deck­er tour bus: Brook­lyn! Brook­lyn! You’re tak­ing a tour of Brook­lyn! I just got out of jail!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Stay­ing on the bus.…

I, Uh… Know?

Male hock­ey fan: I swear — if he shows me his ass one more time…
Fe­male hock­ey fan: I know!
Male hock­ey fan: Se­ri­ous­ly, I’ve seen the in­side of his colon.

–33rd & 7th

Head­line by: Rhys Southan

Run­ners-Up:
· “And Trust Me, It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be” — Mike N
· “But I Had to Pay Ex­tra” — An­na
· “Giu­lian­i’s Clean Bill Of Health Proves Not to Be Fac­tor with Vot­ers” — Jat­mos
· “Now Let’s Take Off These Rub­ber Gloves and Go to the Game” — Julie

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

But Thanks Any­way for Pay­ing to Have the Teeth in My Vagi­na Straight­ened

20-some­thing girl, bawl­ing: It’s not fun­ny! I turn boys gay, Dad.

–Aro­ma Cafe

Head­line by: shud­der

Run­ners-Up:
· “A Fa­ther’s Dream Comes True” — 6th Floor Blog­ger
· “Put Oth­er Dad­dy on the Phone!” — KJM
· “There Are No Strap-Ons With­out Con­se­quences” — Cap­tain Het­ero
· “There, There, Liza. It’ll Be Okay.” — Howard Ban­nis­ter
· “Worst Su­per Pow­er Ever” — Crick­et

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Al­ways Com­plain­ing About Wednes­day One-lin­ers

La­dy: I don’t like to par­al­lel park…it mess­es up my hair.

–61st & Madi­son

Guy: Se­ri­ous­ly, you are be­ing ridicu­lous. You need to calm the fuck down. You still have 2 more stops and what are your ex­pec­ta­tions with that out­fit? Let me off.

–L train

Man on cell: I served lemon­ade for 6 hours! It was­n’t fuck­ing bar­tend­ing! It sucked!

–61st & 3rd

Chi­nese chick: Oh, I don’t watch base­ball. I just re­cent­ly found out what a home run is. I used to think they would, like, run home, and I was like, what the fuck is the point of that?

–B6 bus

Man on cell: Are you a fuck­ing re­tard or do you just play one in re­al life?

–Penn Sta­tion

Girl: I don’t know why I pay for the in­ter­net. The on­ly sites I ever use are Friend­ster, Craigslist and Over­heard In New York and I’ll be hon­est, some­times they just don’t do it for me.

–2 train

Punk chick: …hate it when my dirt wash­es off. It keeps me warm.

–St. Mark’s be­tween 1st & A

Chick: You’re not the one who had to teach a fuck­ing dance class from 9 to 5. I had to teach dance from 9 to 5. And I have to do it again to­mor­row. I don’t wan­na fuck­ing dance any­more. I have ten­donitis!

–12th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Do­mi & Rachel

Lis­ten to Prep­py; He Knows What He’s Talk­ing About

Flam­ing queer: What you white­boys don’t re­al­ize is that the fore­skin is not a chew toy. Maybe a lit­tle bit­ing is OK, but don’t go down on it like a stick of Tri­dent.
Prep­py queer: This is to­tal­ly go­ing to end up on Over­heard if you don’t qui­et down.
Flam­ing queer: I’m Puer­to Ri­can; we’re a loud peo­ple. It’s all of the drums.

–Can­dle Bar, Am­s­ter­dam Av­enue