Filthy rich mom #1: I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I mean, my nanny has a life.
Filthy rich mom #2: Ugh, I know. That’s exactly the trouble.
–Collegiate School, W 78th St
Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category
Not 'Til You Can Learn to Master Your Gag Reflex, Young Lady
12-year-old girl: Mom, can we get a hot dog or something later?
Girl's mom: No, it'll make you fat.
12-year-old girl: But…
Girl's mom: Fat!
–F Train
Overheard by: Immallama
Fine, Get All Master Po on Me
Mom, in Chinese: One bubble tea.
Daughter: Why do you know Chinese?
Mom: Why don’t you?
–Main St
If It Were Up to Me, We Would've “Accidentally” Left Them Home Alone
Flight attendant: In case of an emergency, please place the oxygen mask on yourself first. You may then help your favorite child or the one with the most potential.
Well dressed father: Which one would that be?
Bored mother: Neither.
–JFK
Overheard by: Glad my kids weren't with me
She Could Have at Least Emailed
Guy: So my friend from New Jersey just texted me…
Girl: Yeah?
Guy: Yeah, she’s pregnant and wants to me to be the godfather.
–NYU bus
I'm Beginning to Regret Naming You Descartes
Little girl: What is that?
Mom: An ornament on a branch.
Little girl: Why is it an ornament on a branch?
Mom: Because it is.
Little girl: Why is it because it is?
–St. Lukes Holiday Festival, Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: nosey nancy
Ever Since I Accidentally Tripped Over Them
Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job.
Short girl: Word.
Tall girl: Yeah.
Short girl: Yeah. There's four of them. And they're all beautiful. It's so not fair. I'm weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta.
Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews.
Short girl: I can't believe you remember that.
–Downtown 1 Train
Wasn't He Val Kilmer in Top Gun?
Cute little four-year-old girl: Daddy, who was The Iceman?
Father, without hesitation: He was a serial killer.
Cute little four-year-old girl: Oh.
–Barnes & Noble
Worst. Infomercial. Ever.
Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad!
Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.
Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up?
–M104 Bus
I Might Have to Take Some Action If I Knew
Mother, after mayor Bloomberg goes by: Was that Rudy?
Daughter: Giuliani? You really don't know what Rudy Giuliani looks like?
Mother: No.
Daughter: This is almost as bad as the time you said you don't know what Darfur is.
Mother: I still don't.
–Columbus Day Parade