Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back.

–Hudson River Park

Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I’m afraid of the power of my own vagina.

–1 Train

Overheard by: westchester girl

Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom’s vagina.

–New York Harbor

Overheard by: Barry P.

Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina?

–51st & 9th

Overheard by: Highstein

Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Poogins

Very large black man: My penis’ jus’ as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear)

–A Train

Threeway One-Liners

Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won’t let me leave.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Inkling

35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Overheard by: Abby and Holly

20-something college boy: I mean, there’s no “I” in “threesome.”

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven’t decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I’ve ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.

–48th St & Broadway

Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl

Wednesday One-Liners Get Some Pussy

Hipster chick with “valley girl” accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys’ confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, “Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat’s fur, and it feels good.”

–Washington Square Park

10-year-old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.

–34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Samantha

Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now–we both have cats!

–One World Financial Center

Overheard by: macgeekgrl

Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?

–60th St b/w Park & Madison

Overheard by: Adam B.

20-something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: J Cox