Archive for the ‘Parks’ Category

With This Ring, I Thee Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to mar­ry me and you hes­i­tat­ed. You hes­i­tat­ed!

–Grand Cen­tral Ter­mi­nal

Act­ing pro­fes­sor: Act as if you’re fas­ci­nat­ed by what they’re say­ing, while think­ing about some­thing else. That’s what boys learn to do when they get mar­ried.

–NYU

Over­heard by: Lisa

Man, ad­vis­ing an­oth­er flirt­ing with hot woman: You got­ta go for it–unless she’s mar­ried!

–2 Train

Five-year-old boy to an­oth­er: Yeah, well… I’ll let you mar­ry my daugh­ter!

–10th St & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Ricky

Man to male friend: So ba­si­cal­ly, I took her to a gay bar on our wed­ding night.

–Cen­tral Park

Chick to guy: Are we *se­ri­ous­ly* ar­gu­ing about whether or not aunt Jemi­ma would sup­port gay mar­riage?

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: La­dle

Was­n’t This a Teen Movie?

Teen girl to friends: I’ve heard that they un­leash packs of Rot­tweil­ers here at night.
Friends: What?
Girl: Yeah, to keep peo­ple from just hid­ing in here and sleep­ing, or what­ev­er. Be­cause it’s so big and they can’t cov­er the whole thing… Packs of Rot­tweil­ers cov­er­ing the woods… (friends gasp)

–New York Botan­i­cal Gar­dens

Wel­come to the Wednes­day One-Lin­er Po­si­tion­ing Sys­tem

Girl on cell, look­ing for her friends: Can you see me? Look at the sun, I’m di­rect­ly un­der it right now.

–Sheep Mead­ow, Cen­tral Park

Guy on cell: Yeah, we’ll go now. Okay. Right now, I’m at 116 and Hamsterdam–Hamsterdam? What the fuck did I just say? Oh, wow, that is a dis­turb­ing men­tal im­age. Yeah, ex­act­ly. Riv­er full of ham­sters. Okay, see ya.

–116th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: That would be tru­ly ter­ri­fy­ing.

Harlem woman on cell: Come find me! I’m on the down­town side of the street!

–East Side

Drunk guy on cell: Yo, I’m on the cor­ner of fuckin’ some­thin’ an some­thin’.

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Drunk on cell: Where am I? Where am I? I’m at the cor­ner of Charles Street and moth­er­fuck­ing I don’t know!

–West Vil­lage

Woman to friends: Oh thank god! I feel so much safer now that we’re at 7th Av­enue.

–G Train

“What What (In the Wednes­day One-Lin­er)”

Girl to teenage posse: Ei­ther the pen was re­al­ly weak or his butt was re­al­ly strong.

–Jack­son Heights, Queens

Over­heard by: News­bun­ny does­n’t want to know

Crazy guy to self, af­ter av­er­age woman walks by: Damn, that was a fine ass, a fine ass, that ass was so fine I’d eat a sand­wich out that ass!

–36th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Din­gle­ber­ry

Large grown woman to grown man: I thought you have all sorts of butt mag­a­zines…

–34th & 8th

Guy to girl: I like it when you wear jeans, girl! It’s like your ass is gift wrapped!

–33rd & 7th

Old­er woman to younger woman: If your booty de­serves the cred­it, give it the cred­it!

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Hell Yeah Give it the Cred­it!