Archive for the ‘Penn Station’ Category

Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Life Is Like a Box of Wednesday One-Liners…

Man on cell: What did I do to you? I bought you a house and you don’t even wanna live in it!

–F Train

Overheard by: LC

Conductor, over intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is overbooked. That’s just the way things are. Life is unfair.

–Amtrak Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ladle

Suit: There was a time in my life when I would have never tired of hearing the word "vagina". That time has passed.

–Staten Island Supreme Court

Conductor: Watch your step as you exit the train, and if you’re late, just remember that life is a lot like being on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re getting there.

–2 Train

Overheard by: can this conductor drive my train every day please?

I Think We Need to Change Our URL..

Woman: Oh God, I can’t believe we’re actually in Manhattan. Don’t call it New York.
Girl: Uh uh.
Woman: The locals don’t call it N-Y-C. There’s many boroughs, call it Manhattan. We don’t want to stick out!
Girl: Mom, shut the hell up.
Woman: Language! I’ve got the brochure for the Sex in The City Tour. Do you wanna get a Cosmo?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Twalia LaRue

Come to New York! It’s Safe, Really!

Black woman: You don’t go in there, girl, that’s the men’s bathroom! If you go in there, they’re going to rape you! And don’t think that they wouldn’t, because they will! They’re going to put you down on the floor and rape you and your daughter! You listen to me, girl!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: James Levinsohn

Husband: Yeah, keep walking! You know you can’t come back this way. They kill you here! They don’t just kill you, they kill everyone here!

–Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer Subway Sandwiches

Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?

–Subway Platform, Grand Central

Overheard by: Poogtastic

Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!

–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.

–Crowded Uptown 1 Train

MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Krisztina

Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.

–G Train, Court Square

Overheard by: Katrink

Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!

–6 Train

And Wednesday Said, “Let There Be One-Liners.”

Guy on cell: Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Can you hear me? Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?

–Bus

Overheard by: Is God trying to tell you something?

Intense man, grasping woman's shoulders: God wanted me to, and I was ready to.

–Near Riverside Church, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: I wish I knew more

Guy, in awed tones, hearing "Le nozze di Figaro" through open window: It's like the voice of God…

–The Bronx

Overheard by: ground floor music lover

Crazy man: There is only one God. There is only one real deal. I can't afford sex anymore.

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: That took a turn