Archive for the ‘Penn Station’ Category

Boys Take Non-Pok­ing Very Lit­er­al­ly

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I un­friend­ed him on Face­book.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still mes­sage each oth­er, but he can’t poke me any­more.
Friend: So, tech­ni­cal­ly, would this be sym­bol­ic or metaphor­i­cal ac­tion?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nev­er­mind.

–Penn Sta­tion

Life Is Like a Box of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers…

Man on cell: What did I do to you? I bought you a house and you don’t even wan­na live in it!

–F Train

Over­heard by: LC

Con­duc­tor, over in­ter­com: Ladies and gen­tle­men, this train is over­booked. That’s just the way things are. Life is un­fair.

–Am­trak Train, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: La­dle

Suit: There was a time in my life when I would have nev­er tired of hear­ing the word “vagi­na”. That time has passed.

–Stat­en Is­land Supreme Court

Con­duc­tor: Watch your step as you ex­it the train, and if you’re late, just re­mem­ber that life is a lot like be­ing on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re get­ting there.

–2 Train

Over­heard by: can this con­duc­tor dri­ve my train every day please?

I Think We Need to Change Our URL..

Woman: Oh God, I can’t be­lieve we’re ac­tu­al­ly in Man­hat­tan. Don’t call it New York.
Girl: Uh uh.
Woman: The lo­cals don’t call it N‑Y-C. There’s many bor­oughs, call it Man­hat­tan. We don’t want to stick out!
Girl: Mom, shut the hell up.
Woman: Lan­guage! I’ve got the brochure for the Sex in The City Tour. Do you wan­na get a Cos­mo?

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Twalia LaRue

Come to New York! It’s Safe, Re­al­ly!

Black woman: You don’t go in there, girl, that’s the men’s bath­room! If you go in there, they’re go­ing to rape you! And don’t think that they would­n’t, be­cause they will! They’re go­ing to put you down on the floor and rape you and your daugh­ter! You lis­ten to me, girl!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: James Levin­sohn

Hus­band: Yeah, keep walk­ing! You know you can’t come back this way. They kill you here! They don’t just kill you, they kill every­one here!

–Cen­tral Park

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Pre­fer Sub­way Sand­wich­es

Lost-look­ing chick on cell: Why do they al­ways fuck with the trains on week­ends? Don’t they know there are stoned peo­ple try­ing to get home?

–Sub­way Plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Poog­tas­tic

Loud­speak­er dis­patch­er la­dy: Hey you! Up­town num­ber 5! You bet­ter stop stick­ing your head out the win­dow and an­swer me on the ra­dio!

–Up­town 4,5,6 Train, Union Square

Over­heard by: da sarkastik nin­ja.

El­e­gant gen­tle­man, as train starts to de­part sta­tion: Oh, I did­n’t re­al­ize the train was go­ing to move.

–Crowd­ed Up­town 1 Train

MTA an­nounce­ment: The up­town 1 train is run­ning.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Kriszti­na

Dis­patch­er: The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train. The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train.

–G Train, Court Square

Over­heard by: Ka­trink

Old man: I’m com­ing, train. I’m com­ing. I’m com­ing, train, you son of a bitch bas­tard!

–6 Train

And Wednes­day Said, “Let There Be One-Lin­ers.”

Guy on cell: Sup­pose there is no god. (pause) Hel­lo? Can you hear me? Sup­pose there is no god. (pause) Hel­lo? Hel­lo? Can you hear me?

–Bus

Over­heard by: Is God try­ing to tell you some­thing?

In­tense man, grasp­ing wom­an’s shoul­ders: God want­ed me to, and I was ready to.

–Near River­side Church, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: I wish I knew more

Guy, in awed tones, hear­ing “Le nozze di Fi­garo” through open win­dow: It’s like the voice of God…

–The Bronx

Over­heard by: ground floor mu­sic lover

Crazy man: There is on­ly one God. There is on­ly one re­al deal. I can’t af­ford sex any­more.

–Out­side Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: That took a turn

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Look Ter­ri­ble in Neon Or­ange

20-some­thing woman to man: You’ve nev­er been ar­rest­ed? I have nev­er met any­one that has not been ar­rest­ed!

–Le Char­lot Restau­rant, Up­per East Side

An­gry guy on cell: If you ever send e‑mail to my fam­i­ly again, I will wait out­side your apart­ment door! (pause) I got ar­rest­ed! I spent Thanks­giv­ing in jail!

–11th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Mis­sPinkKate

Man in US Cor­rec­tion­al Ser­vices jack­et to an­oth­er look­ing around hec­ti­cal­ly in a large crowd: Make sure we don’t lose him!

–Penn Sta­tion

Chub­by well-dressed black dude to skin­ny white geeky friends: Time in prison can be good for the soul!

–F Train

Over­heard by: Miss­Mae

Guy on cell: Yeah man, she’s like a young girl, and she’s dri­ving me nuts. It’s like al­ways a fight with her. I mean, she’s so young, yo… But yeah, I mean, she’s a sweet­heart. I mean, she’s a good girl. So young. Like, we’ve been to­geth­er for 7 months and that ain’t noth­ing to me, but to her it’s a big deal. And I’m all like, shit, I’ve been in jail for longer than 7 months, you know, so I don’t know what she’s bitch­ing about. I don’t need her to make me mis­er­able. I can make my­self mis­er­able.

–Metro-North Train

Over­heard by: Meaghan

Fran Dresch­er sound-alike: What’s wrong with you? Don’t ap­plaud, I’m go­ing to jail!

–Eight Mile Creek, Mull­ber­ry Street

Over­heard by: Adam Nathan