Maxim staff #1: Yeah, we’re going to make you walk around in a plastic bubble or something.
Maxim staff #2: …NO, that is not THE RIGHT KIND of herpes!
Maxim staff #3: Is there a RIGHT kind of herpes?
–Midtown elevator
Archive for the ‘People’ Category
Send Your Ideas to Massengill
Girl #1: Holy shit! That guy just threw a slushie at the conductor.
Girl #2: That’s like a felony, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, they should arrest that guy.
Girl #2: I can think of so many better things to do with a slushie.
–5 train
The Writers Switched From Funny to Educational
Tween girl #1: I’m gonna call that number 1–800-DIVORCE. I want to divorce my parents.
Tween boy: You can’t divorce your parents, stupid. Can you marry your parents? No!
Tween girl #1: Technically, technically you can but that’s just sick.
Tween girl #2: You’re not really divorcing your parents. It’s more like they giving up they rights.
Tween girl #1: Look, I call it divorcing your parents because that’s what they called it on The Simpsons so that’s why I say it.
–Q train
We Surveyed 100 New Yorkers; All Disagreed
Girl #1: So I don’t wanna be all like, “whatever,” because he, like, totally likes me.
Girl #2: He told me he thinks you’re smart.
–R train
Overheard by: Jorge De La Garza
He’s Taking Over Howard Hughes’ Old Job
Man: Hey, I finally got that promotion!
Woman: Oh my god, congratulations! High five!
Man: Don’t touch me.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Aaliyah Leuschner
Spicy Rock Always Ends Up Alone
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more.
–Q train
Readers: Answer this Big Question
Guy on cell: What, you thought they were going to let fat people into the club?
–N train
Beggars Can Be Choosers
Chick: Are you hungry? I have some leftover vietnamese food you can have.
Hobo: Well, what is it? I’m religious. I don’t eat pork.
Chick: There’s no pork. It’s just vegetarian noodles.
Hobo: Noodles? Nah, I’m trying to cut back on carbs.
–Grand Central food court
Canadia’s Much Closer
Girl: Where’s the nearest Banana Republic?
Guy: Uh…Dominican Republic?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: daniela
You Would Not Have Wanted to Be Awake For What We Did to You
Girl #1: What’s up?
Girl #2: Still recovering from last night.
Girl #1: It wasn’t that bad.
Girl #2: What? I passed out and woke up naked in the club.
Girl #1: See, I told you.
–Internet cafe, 63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Interested Listener
