Archive for the ‘People’ Category

Wow, “Long Island” and “Better” in One Discussion

Suit #1: How long have you lived here?
Suit #2: How old are you? Probably longer than you have been alive.
Suit #1: Born and raised in New York, huh?
Suit #2: No, a farm in PA. Got the fuck out of there, though. Met a girl from New York–well actually, Long Island–married her and moved out here. Thought she had money. Yeah…fooled the shit out of me.
Suit #3: Ha, you were that close to being better than all of us.

–Wall & Water

Ditto

Guy #1: Okay…Wow…This one time in Madison I was so drunk…I was trying to get this sorority girl to come home with me and she said she would if I got rid of her ex-boyfriend (he was hanging out with us.) That’s all I remember from that night! I woke up the next morning, in bed, soaking wet, with a pulled groin muscle and scrapes all over my knees and elbows!
Guy #2: What the fuck?
Guy #1: Yeah! I had to ask around to find out what happened. Apparently, I sorta, uh, fell in the lake in Madison–I pulled my groin muscle there–then I pulled myself out and crawled home on hands and knees since I couldn’t walk.
Guy #2: What…the fuck…?

–B1 bus

Overheard by: Justin Fores

Wednesday One-Liners Suit Up

Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.

–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx

Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket

Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!

–F train

Overheard by: braincurve

Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.

–Madison Square Park

Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.

–Duane & Broadway

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…

–41st & 8th

Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.

–Church St

Overheard by: Dara

Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.

–A train

Overheard by: LSB