Archive for the ‘Physical appearance’ Category

That's What She Gets for Devouring That Goat That Was Tethered to the Ground

Girl #2: You’re so right! She does kind of look like a Tyrannosaur!
Girl #1: Oh my god, you’re so mean.
Girl #2: What? You said it first.
Girl #1: I said: “She kind of looks like a tennis player.”
Girl #2: Um, oh. Oops.

–1 Train

Overheard by: ouch.

Headline by: James

Runners-Up:
· “Either Way, She Makes Quite a Racket” – DotTim
· “I Always Get Lesbians and Giant Man-Eating Lizards Confused.” – L.J.
· “If It’s Martina Navratilova, They’re Both Right.” – Brady
· “It’s the Way She Devoured the Competition” – Markle9
· “Serenasaur or Venusaur?” – Matt
· “With the Racket and the Tiny Arms, It Could Really Go Either Way.” – Rosie

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Be Consoled

Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you couldn't play Street Fighter.

–Marymount Manhattan College

Blond girl, regarding Egyptian artifacts: This is just like a video game!

–The Met

Overheard by: Rachael and Ben

Mindless dude playing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch calling me? (answers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in "my video game," psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I wouldn't be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?

–A Train

Overheard by: token white chick

Ghetto kids, as 95-year-old Chinese lady walks into moving traffic: Damn, she think she playing Frogger!

–Chinatown

Friend to friend: I wonder how Super Mario Bros will influence my decision?

–Houston St & Broadway

Making Exactly the Same Mistakes

Girl: Did you hear about Barbara Walters and the affairs she had when she was younger? It shocked me.
Guy: Why'd it shock you? A lot of these older people did a lot of crazy shit when they were younger, from violence to sex. How do you think at least 50% of us were born? And she looked kinda good then, I'd have done 'er.
Girl (shaking her head): Just about everybody is fucked up.
Guy (growling and laughing): Don't groan about it, it's nature baby. Us people today are just the latest ones on the scene.

–8th St & 6 Ave

Overheard by: savon

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

The Day Mombolu Changed Professions

Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!

–1 Train