Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category

The Bitch of Brook­lyn­wald

Chick #1: Is that the guy you were with last week­end?
Chick #2: Keep your voice down. And please don’t re­mind me.
Chick #1: Why? He’s not bad.
Chick #2: He’s not even law school hot. I’ve so had to low­er my stan­dards for this group.
Chick #1: I’ve just start­ed go­ing out with Jew­ish guys.
Chick #2: Ugh. Please. We’re on­ly here for an­oth­er year and a half…I can hold out.

–Brook­lyn Heights

Over­heard by: iiams

Points for Cre­ativ­i­ty

Chick #1 look­ing at life-like dil­do that ac­tu­al­ly cums: I won­der what it cums.
Chick #2: If it were me, I would put in vanil­la milk­shake.
Chick #1: Oh my god! How amaz­ing would it be if guys came vanil­la milk­shakes?! I would be on my knees all day long!
Chick #2: Yeah, to­tal­ly… What a cru­el joke that most of them taste like steam­rolled, year-old sushi.

–The Pink Pussy­cat

Over­heard by: Sharon Sloan

Nowa­days It’s 15 or Bust

Hip­ster guy: So I called him and he was like, ‘My mom is here!’ and I was like, ‘Can you bring her with you?‘
Hip­ster girl: Yeah, I don’t know… I’m not sure I could do it.
Hip­ster guy: Re­al­ly? Yeah, some­times it’s not worth the trou­ble. Just some­thing fun to do every once in a while when you’re bored… I mean, the last time I fucked a 16-year-old was when I was… twen­ty-two?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Jor­dan

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Took “For Poor­er” Out of Their Vows

Gold dig­ger to friend: Yeah, I’m done with doc­tors. I want an ar­chi­tect.

–E 80th St

Over­heard by: han­nah g

An­noyed JAP: So, he told me that I would date my way out of the Up­per East Side.

–Ladies’ room, John­ny’s Up­town

Over­heard by: Grover

Pa­tient to re­cep­tion­ist: She no-showed on me, too, but I did­n’t like her any­way be­cause she has Alzheimer’s, and she’s a gold dig­ger.

–Den­tist’s of­fice

JAP: I mean, I was raised nev­er think­ing I would ever have to take care of my­self.

–Penn Sta­tion

Chick: I mean, he’s, like, a lit­tle un­sta­ble. He just seems a lit­tle wired, but he works for a hedge fund, so…

–77th & 3rd

I Gave Him My Best Park­er Posey Lip Curl and Left the Train

Snooty al­ter­na­tive chick: So, for some rea­son I al­ways get these creepy guys talk­ing to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was lis­ten­ing to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an in­ter­est­ing song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts try­ing to im­press me with his shit­ty mu­sic list.
Al­ter­na­tive guy: What was on it?
Snooty al­ter­na­tive chick: Blink 182 and Good Char­lotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who start­ed talk­ing to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re es­pe­cial­ly not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s to­tal­ly a pre­req­ui­site.’

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl