Archive for the ‘Pizza’ Category

Who Says Life’s No Pic­nic for New York­ers?

Heavy-set and sweaty bus dri­ver to woman with piz­za: Lemme…uh…have that piz­za. (woman smiles awk­ward­ly, think­ing it’s a joke) I was­n’t kid­ding. Lemme have that piz­za. (woman hold­ing a bag of cook­ies gets on bus with child)
Heavy-set and sweaty bus dri­ver: Oh, lemme just…uh uh…have one of these…uh uh…cookies. (takes cook­ie)
Small Asian woman (tak­en aback and ex­treme­ly con­fused): What? You can’t take these.
(bus dri­ver stuffs cook­ie in mouth and ig­nores woman)
(lat­er)
Bus dri­ver, on PA: La­dy, these are some good cook­ies.

–Up­town Bus to Met from Port Au­thor­i­ty

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are So Not the Fresh­mak­er

Bim­bette: I don’t think I’ve ever been that grossed out dur­ing the day. It all start­ed when that woman smelled like pee…

–6 Train

Over­heard by: j

Fe­male suit: We were above an In­di­an restau­rant and he was bang­ing me from be­hind. I could smell the cur­ry, and while he was bang­ing me I was gag­ging.

–NJ Tran­sit

Chick: You smell like vag and piz­za.

–Bor­ders

Girl to friend, af­ter bend­ing head down in­to her: Damn my puss stank.

–E Train

Over­heard by: Nicole

Col­lege guy (scream­ing at friend): Dude! How are you even in col­lege?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Trop­i­cal Glade!

–1 Train

Con­cerned hip­ster: I know you just or­gasmed, but what’s that smell?

–E 9th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Peanut