Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
Archive for the ‘Places’ Category
Now’s the Time to Clarify These Things
Guido: I like my women a little more, shall we say, feminine.
Trannie: Yeah, I’ve got balls.
–LIRR, 6 AM
Overheard by: eileen
John the Apostle Only Alludes to It Cryptically
Guy: There’s a Bennigan’s here now?
Girl: Sure, New York’s getting everything: Bennigan’s, Outback, Applebee’s, Chevy’s.
Guy: Who knew the four horsemen of the apocalypse were chain restaurants?
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: Amanda
A New York Moment
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.
The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.
Woman: That was weird.
–V Train
Spicy Rock Always Ends Up Alone
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more.
–Q train
Overheard in the Headlines
Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
“Yeah, it’s called Bombscare.”
–Astor Place
No, She’s Thinking of the Houses…and Limbs
Guy: So a bunch of people are getting hurricane Katrina tattoos.
Girl #1: What would a hurricane tattoo even look like?
Girl #2: It would just be a swirl.
Girl #1: No babe, you’re thinking of a tornado.
–Stanton Social Club, Stanton Street
Overheard by: JDM & MZ
A World Where My Sisters and Brothers Will Be Judged Not by the Color of Their Skin but by the Circumference of Their Ass
Hobo: Spare some change for the fucking poor? Yeah, that’s right, you fucking chinks. Fucking slanty-eyed flat-assed bitches! Suck my ass!
Asian woman: He said my butt was flat!
–114th & Broadway
It’s Like the Entire State Gets Spontaneous Parkinson’s
Girl #1: So how do you like New York?
Guy: I love it. I mean, I love coming here, but I couldn’t live here.
Girl #2: Why not?
Guy: I’m not a snow person. Snow should be visited, not lived in. Me and blizzards just wouldn’t get along.
Girl #1: We’re from South Carolina. We love it here. We don’t mind
the snow. It’s better than the storms and hurricanes.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate the hurricanes.
Guy: Well, where I live we don’t have blizzards or hurricanes.
Girl #1: But you have earthquakes. That’s worse.
Guy: Maybe, but we don’t have earthquake season.
–Atlantic & 3rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Dave
That’s Going to Be Great Advice in Kindergarten
Little kid: Mommy…Mommmmmyyyyyy! I have got to poop!
Mom: Would you please just crap in your pants and quit screaming about it already!
–9th between 1st & A
Overheard by: Katie